


through my lens, there's you

by tuberc-leo-fics (lourthor)



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, other Vixx members make an appearance, this is a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-23 02:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6101203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourthor/pseuds/tuberc-leo-fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ravi is an idol filming the newest hit show Composition. Taekwoon is a cameraman working on his first reality show. They meet in a bathroom and the rest is history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slow-burn Wontaek AU story. It's finished and I will release a new chapter every several days. This is the longest story I have ever written by about 22k words. Please let me know what you think!

Ravi was nervous. He had never been away from his members to have a solo activity, and Composition was one of the most highly anticipated shows of the year. He had auditioned three months ago, and was ecstatic when he happened to get on the show, but also nervous. Vixx was still unknown to anyone but their fans, and he could feel the pressure to put on a great performance in the show. But Ravi was new and it seemed like all the other composers on the show had hundreds of tracks behind them.

There was a sudden noise that came from behind and Ravi whipped his head around, silver hair getting into his eyes, to see the producer of the show walking in and greeting the mass of people who had gathered.

“Hello everyone. Thank you for coming. As you know, my name is Hwang Byungwoo and I am one of the producers of this show.”

There was a smattering of claps and Ravi took a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm his nerves.

Byungwoo waited until the clapping died down before starting again.

“We will begin filming with the individual interviews. Those will take several hours, as there are a lot of you. Then we will begin filming the opening segment. Are there any questions right now?”

No one said anything, and just glanced around, eyeing their future competition. After a few seconds of silence, the producer spoke again.

“Okay, then we will start with the first four people. Everyone else should wait in here for your turn. Lim Yeeun, Kwon Youngjun, Red Bird, and Lee Jisu, you are up first.”

Four people stood up and left the room, the producer following. After a few seconds, the rest of the competitors started chatting.

“Hey, man, what’s your name?”

Ravi turned to his left and saw a man in his mid-twenties with bleach-blonde hair and a crooked smile. He seemed relaxed, and not even close to as nervous as Ravi was.

“Oh, hey. My name’s Ravi.”

The man laughed, head tilted back and mouth open wide enough for Ravi to see his back molars. It was slightly endearing, and just hearing the laugh made Ravi’s nerves start to fade.

“Well, that’s a fancy name for such a young person. I’m Minsook. How old are you, Ravi?”

“I’m 23 this year.”

“Well, I’m 27 this year, so I guess I’m your hyung. Just call me Minsook-hyung, alright?”

Ravi nodded.

“Okay, hyung. I will.”

Minsook laughed again. Ravi was reminded of Ken-hyung and his easy laughter, always bringing up the mood of a room.

_I wish he was here_ , Ravi though. _God, I’m not meant to be by myself like this. What the hell am I supposed to say to these people?_

“So, Ravi,” Minsook started. Ravi glanced up at him again. “What do you do? Are you still in school?”

Ravi winced, sweeping his silver bangs out of his eyes.

“Um, actually, I’m an idol. I’m in a group called Vixx.”

Minsook shrugged his shoulders.

“Sorry, kid. Never heard of them.”

Ravi was not surprised. Vixx debuted with five members in 2012 and were unknown for around a year. They felt a slight rise in 2013 when their maknae, Hyuk, decided to convince the company to try something new. On and On was what they considered their true debut, but they never became a well-known group. They won first several times with Voodoo Doll, Eternity, and Error, but the songs weren’t very popular. They mainly had persistent fans who voted diligently for them in music shows.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. We’re not really well-known,” Ravi said, self-deprecating.

Minsook shook that off.

“Well, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t talented. There’s only 20 of us and I heard 450 applied. I was beyond stoked when I got in. I’ve been trying to fight my way into this industry for 5 years and all my hard work finally paid off.”

Ravi nodded. He didn’t even tell the members this, but he was terrified to be on the show. He composes a lot, anytime he isn’t doing Vixx activities, but he is young. And not well-known. He’s the only idol on the show, and he’s afraid people will judge him prematurely, or say that he got on the show through connections. He wanted, no, he needed to show everyone what he could do, and help promote Vixx in the process. The other four worked so hard and they deserved to be recognized for their talents.

“I’m sure you’ll be great, hyung,” Ravi said, finally cracking a smile at the other man. Minsook smiled back.

“Thanks, bud.”

The doors at the back of the room opened again, and someone new walked in. He had a headset on, and was carrying a clipboard, pencil gripped tight in their hand.

“I need the next four people to come with me,” he said loudly, grabbing everyone’s attention. Ravi’s palms started sweating, so he wiped them on his jeans, digging his fingers into his things afterwards.

“Kim Heesung, Kim Hyunsik, Lee Minsook, and Park Jakyung. You’re next. I will be back for the next group of people soon.”

“Well,” Minsook said while standing, “that’s me. I’ll see you around, Ravi. I look forward to hearing your work.”

Ravi nodded and smiled again. “Okay, hyung. Good luck.”

Minsook waved and wandered off to the back, greeting the man with clipboard with a smile. Ravi gazed after him until the small group left, before feeling his smile fall off his face. He looked around the room and there seemed to be two very different groups of people still in the room. First were the people chatting in small groups, smiling and laughing, and making friends. Ravi wished he could be like them, with an easy friendliness. But he was more like the second group of people, the people sitting by themselves, fiddling with their phone, or listening to music with their earbuds, clear that they don’t want to engage with others at this point. Ravi didn’t blame them.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and entered his password, sliding his finger across the screen and smiled at the picture of Vixx he had set as his background. The five of them were smiling, arms around each other.

_What are they doing right now?_ Ravi asked himself. He looked around just to make sure no one would approach him in the next minute or so, and opened KakaoTalk, immediately going to the group chat.

_I miss you guys,_ he typed. _Everyone is either talking to their friends or listening to music. What am I supposed to do?_

Ravi didn’t even need to wait a full minute before he received a reply.

**Hakyeon: Aw, my poor baby. I’m sure you’ll make a friend soon! We miss you!**

Ravi smiled. Hakyeon-hyung was a mother hen. He loved his members so much and took care of them. He listened to the fears, and supported them unconditionally. He was the kind of person who deserved to be recognized for all his hard work, which was probably why he was one of the most well-known members of the group. He worked tirelessly on shows to promote Vixx, and for that, Ravi was forever grateful.

**Wonshik: I think I made a friend. We talked for a couple minutes before he went to be interviewed.**

**Hakyeon: That’s great!**

**Jaehwan: Kill it, Ravi-ya!**

Ravi smiled. His Jaehwan-hyung might not say things elegantly, but he cared for them. He felt bad for Jaehwan the most. He worked hard as the main vocal in Vixx, but the songs were really vocally challenging, and he was often sick because of the strain he put on his voice. But, he never let that put him down. He was almost always carefree, and tried to keep the mood in Vixx happy and light, despite the hardships they were facing.

**Wonshik: Thanks, hyung. I will. I’m just a little nervous.**

**Hakyeon: You’ll do great. You are a wonderful producer. We will all cheer for you.**

**Hongbin: Just tell us everything tonight when you get back. It’s lonely without you.**

_Yeah. It is, isn’t it_ , Ravi thought. Hongbin and Ravi, as the only two of the same age in Vixx, were almost always constantly together. They worked out together, shared a room, shared their clothes, and shared their secrets and fears. They knew everything about each other.

_Almost everything,_ Ravi reminded himself. There were some things that had to be kept a secret. He sighed to himself and started typing his next reply, but the doors opened again, and the same man with the clipboard walked into the room for the second time.

“The next four should come with me. Ravi, Lee Kwangho, Cho Bokyung, Park Minseok.”

Ravi deleted what he already typed in his phone and tapped out a new message.

**Wonshik: Sorry, I’m being called. Talk to you tonight!**

As he turned his phone on silent and stood up, he could already feel the buzzing as he slipped it into his pocket. He walked over to the door quickly, every step making his heart beat quicker as the nerves returned. He slowed in front of the man standing at the door.

“Name?” the man asked.

“Um, Ravi, sir,” he said, pushing his bangs out of his eyes again.

_I really need to get these trimmed_ he told himself.

The other three competitors signed in as well before they followed the clipboard man out into the hall.

“Okay, so the four of you will each have an interview in a separate room. Ravi, you will be first. Everyone, please follow me.”

Everyone nodded their assent and followed the man up the stairs and into a dark hallway. The man turned around quickly, forcing Ravi to stop walking so as not to run into him.

“Ravi, you will be in the room on the left. Please knock and enter. The rest of you, come with me.”

With that, the man left with the rest of the group down the hallway, leaving Ravi alone outside the room. He took a deep breath, wiped his hands on his pants again, before knocking on the door and entering.

“Hello.” a young woman said. She stood up and he bowed to her. She looked to be around thirty. Her hair was pinned up to be neat, but out of her way. Her makeup was light and her clothes were nice, but comfortable. She smiled and beckoned him into the corner of the room, where a comfortable looking chair was pushed.

“Please sit down, and then we can get this interview started” the woman said. “I’m one of the writers of the show, Choi Dahee. It’s nice to finally meet you, Ravi.”

Ravi smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

He sat down in the chair, and only then did he look around the room. It was small, and there were only two people besides himself in the room. One was Dahee, and the other was the cameraman, face half hidden behind the camera, even though they hadn’t started shooting yet. From what Ravi could see, the cameraman was young, probably only a few years older than him. But he was tall, and with a nice build. Ravi found himself staring when the man finally moved his head and locked sharp looking eyes with Ravi. A little gasp escaped the man as they made eye contact and he turned a bright red before busying himself behind the camera again. Ravi frowned slightly.

_What was that?_ he asked himself before putting the entire thing out of his head in order to concentrate on the interview.

“Are you ready?” Dahee asked. At his nod, Dahee motioned to the cameraman to start recording. The light turned on.

“Tell the camera your name and a little about yourself.”

Ravi took a deep breath and forced himself to smile.

“Hi, my name is Ravi. I’m 23 years old and am a rapper and composer. I am currently part of an idol group called Vixx. When we are not promoting or practicing, I am in my room composing. So far I’ve created around 20 songs for my group.”

And so the interview continued. Ravi answered more questions about his composing and compositions, as well as his daily life. He tried to relax with the questions, but every time he stared at the camera, he noticed that the cameraman was staring at his face, seemingly not focused on actually recording the interview. It made Ravi nervous and worried that maybe he was doing something wrong. The man’s stare was intense.

After about 10 minutes, Ravi started feeling more relaxed, and started ignoring the man staring at him. It was difficult, but he wanted to make this show work. He needed the viewers to vote for his compositions, and if his personality seemed bad, they might think less of him as a person.

Eventually it ended and Dahee stood up and stretched, thanking Ravi.

“Okay, you are allowed a small break before you need to return to the main room. There’s a café downstairs where you can get something to eat and drink,” she said and pulled open the door to let him out.

Ravi thanked her and bowed, before heading to the door. Just as he was exiting, he heard her say to the cameraman, “Taekwoon, why don’t you take a small break and go with him. Go to the bathroom and grab some coffee for both of us. The next person can wait a few minutes.”

Ravi turned around and saw the man nod before he picked up a bag, slung it over his shoulder, and followed Ravi out of the room.

\--

Jung Takewoon liked his job. He liked the anonymity of it, and the long, boring hours spent watching other people enjoy themselves. He enjoyed people watching, and he loved that he got paid to do so. Becoming a cameraman in a good company was one of the best decisions he ever made.

This doesn’t mean that he’s giving up on his dreams of being a producer, though. Any free time he has, which isn’t a lot, he is in his room at the house he shares with his parents and his oldest sister’s family, composing and working on as many songs as he can. It’s crowded living there, but he enjoys being surrounded by people he loves, and even though cameramen work long hours, they don’t get paid enough to rent an apartment in Seoul.

When Taekwoon heard through his boss that there was going to be a reality show about producers and their company was sending out a few cameramen to shoot, he was ecstatic. He immediately went to his boss and asked to be put on the job.

“I don’t know, Taekwoon-ah,” he said, scratching at the stubble on his cheek. “They are looking for people with reality experience. You just don’t have that yet. Maybe in a few years, okay?”

Taekwoon shook his head. “Please, sir. I know I can do this. And if I don’t get the opportunity now, I will never get the experience I need.” He swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing. “Please give me a chance. I promise I will not disappoint you.”

His boss laughed. “Well, well, Taekwoon. I see you are finally sticking up for yourself. If you really think you can do it, I’ll send you over to the station.”

Taekwoon felt his heart tighten, ecstatic and panicky at the same time. “Thank you so much sir. Thank you!” He bowed as he left the room and raced back to the employee office to grab his bag, before hopping on his bike and pedaling the five miles home. He was still grinning when he walked in the door.

“Taekwoon! Welcome back. We were just about to eat without you”

He looked up at the sound of his sister’s voice and saw her peering at him as he took off his shoes and his sweaty jacket. She had her son perched on her hip, and he was smiling a gummy smile as he played with her hair.

Taekwoon reached up to grab his nephew from her but she shook her head and pointed to the hallway. “Clean up first, take a quick shower, and then I will allow you to play with Minyool-ie while we eat. Okay?”

He frowned, annoyed that he couldn’t play right now, but decided not to test his sister at the moment, and walked to the bathroom.

\--

Dinner was mostly quiet. Taekwoon’s mother and father were away in the country, visiting old friends, and his sister’s husband was working late at the office. It was just Taekwoon, his sister, and Minyool.

“How was work today, Taekwoon?” his sister asked, feeding Minyool with one hand and trying to eat with the other. It was not working well, so he grabbed the food from her and began feeding his nephew.

He shrugged. “Okay. Nothing very exciting. But, I’ll be having different hours soon. I’ve been signed on to a reality show. I don’t know what my schedule will be yet.”

His sister smiled wide. “That’s great honey! I’m happy you are getting more important jobs.”

He just mumbled something quietly under his breath, embarrassed at her words.

“No, it really is a good think, Taekwoon. Be proud of yourself, okay?” She made sure he saw her smiling at him in encouragement before letting the matter go. “Here, I’ve finished eating. Give me Minyool-ie and you can go relax in your room.” She stood up and reached out her arms for her son, but Taekwoon shook his head.

“I’ve got him. You’ve been hauling him around all day.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he shut her down. “We’ll have fun playing, just you and I, right, Minyool-ie?” Taekwoon asked his nephew, tickling his stomach and watching him as he blew spit bubbles that rolled down his chin.

His sister frowned, but not in anger. “You know, anyone would think that Minyool-ie was your son, not mine. Fine, I’ll do some laundry and watch some TV. You boys have fun.” She waved at them and took the dishes into the kitchen to put them in the sink. Minyool made gurgling noises and babbled at her as she walked away.

Taekwoon cuddled his nephew against his chest as he stood up and slowly stroked the fine hair on his head. Minyool curled his head into his chest, before putting his fist in his mouth to suck on. Taekwoon carried him to his room, before laying down on his bed, resting Minyool against his stomach. They laid there for several minutes before Minyool started to fuss, wriggling his body in an attempt to go and play anywhere but on his uncle’s stomach.

“What do you want to do today while mommy is doing chores?” Taekwoon asked the baby on his stomach. He didn’t receive any vocal answer, but a little kick against his ribs forced him to sit up. “Do you want to listen to some music?” There was a little bit of babbling when he said that, so Taekwoon assumed that was a yes.

He placed Minyool on the carpet at the foot of his bed before he walked over to his bookshelf. Bookshelf was probably not the right word, as there were no books actually on the shelf. He saved the desk he used to use in high school to store his books on. The bookshelf was more of a CD shelf. Hundreds of CDs were crammed onto the four shelves, arranged by artist.

He scanned the shelf before grabbing some of his favorites, and placed them on the floor in front of his nephew.

“What should we listen to, Minyool-ie? It’s your day to choose.” Minyool didn’t respond, but he kicked his foot at the grey CD cover, before he fell over and decided that looking at the lights on the ceiling was a much better use of his time than Taekwoon’s prized possessions.

“Hm,” Taekwoon snorted to himself. “You are definitely related to me, Minyool-ie.” He snorted again as he stood up to put the CD into the player perched on the edge of his desk. Immediately he heard the opening chords of Steel Heart begin to play and he sighed, laying back on the carpet, picking Minyool up and placing him on his stomach again so he couldn’t escape.

“Are you a Ravi fan too, baby?” he asked his nephew, as he played with his tiny hands. He wiggled his nephew to the rhythm as Error started to play and he allowed N’s honey vocals to wash over them. “He makes great songs, doesn’t he?”

Minyool just drooled some more, but Taekwoon didn’t care. He just enjoyed spending time with his nephew, his favorite group’s voices, and Ravi’s melody.

\--

Taekwoon was not expecting when he looked up from his camera to see the face of someone he idolized. Ravi was…his inspiration, to put it lightly. He was an amazing dancer, rapper, and composer. He was also endlessly kind and the way he interacted with fans was so gentle. He, and the rest of Vixx, loved their fans so much and had such a passion for the music and performances that they were putting out, that Taekwoon became a Starlight in 2013. It was probably one of the best decisions he ever made.

But, he was too busy to go to music shows, or fansign events. He never met any of the members of Vixx, only saw them dancing and singing in music programs on TV. He occasionally watched videos he found online, but he helped his sister take care of Minyool during the nighttime, and it was difficult to pay attention to the needs of a baby and his own needs.

His first thought that passed through his mind when he saw his idol was _he’s handsome,_ followed by _why did I not know he would be on this show?_ and _why is my heart beating so fast?_ Trying to stay professional was hard, and more often than not, Taekwoon found himself staring at Ravi’s face as he filmed, tuning out the questions Dahee was asking.

When the interview was over, Taekwoon went back behind his camera, intending to sit down and relax his mind until the next contestant walked in for their interview. He had just sat on the floor, legs outstretched and half-tangled in the chord of his camera when he heard Dahee speak to him. “Taekwoon, why don’t you take a small break and go with him. Go to the bathroom and grab some coffee for both of us. The next person can wait a few minutes.”

Taekwoon groaned in his head as he forced his limbs back into standing position. He nodded at Dahee and started walking to the door, only then noticing that Ravi was standing in the doorway, staring at him.

He assumed Ravi would turn around and continue on his way, walking to the café, but he stood stagnant in the doorway, only moving when Taekwoon was a few steps away from him, and even then it was to take a few steps backwards out into the hallway, eyes still locked.

Taekwoon nodded his head in greeting and then took advantage of his long legs to walk briskly to the bathroom, leaving all thoughts of Ravi, and their strange staring contest, from his mind.

His solace did not last long though. Just as he was unzipping his pants, the door to the bathroom opened. Taekwoon turned his head and immediately snapped it back to stare at the wall when Ravi walked in, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his cellphone. He was glancing at it, and trying to tap out a message with his thumb, and it was only when he walked over to the wall of urinals that he realized Taekwoon was even there at all.

“Hey,” Ravi said in greeting.

“Hello,” Taekwoon replied, bowing his head slightly before turning back to face the wall and do his business, thinking that that was the end of the conversation. Apparently, it wasn’t.

“Did I look nervous in there?” Ravi asked. Taekwoon looked at him again, feeling awkward with one hand on his dick, staring as his idol asked him a question. Slowly, color started to rise in his cheeks, and he looked lost, unable to comprehend what Ravi just asked him.

Ravi seemed to notice the situation as he glanced down slowly, before quickly looking back up again, face flushing, and he started to back away, turning towards the door.

“Sorry, hyung. God, I’m sorry,” he babbled. “I’ll just leave.”

“No,” Taekwoon said before he realized what came out of his mouth. “Stay. It’s okay.”

Ravi turned back towards him, giving him a small smile. “Really, hyung? Thanks. Sorry, I won’t bother you with any more questions.” Ravi grinned at him, then. “Just please, go back to peeing. I’ll just be at my own urinal.”

Taekwoon let a small snort escape his nose, and nodded, glancing sideways as Ravi settled a couple urinals away from him. He realized he was staring when he heard the zip, and saw Ravi’s hand move. He caught a glimpse of Ravi’s dick before he shook himself out of his daze and turned his attention back to trying to pee. It wasn’t working.

_What is wrong with me?_ Taekwoon asked himself. _I’m too nervous to pee._ He realized there was no sound coming from the other urinal either, so he glanced up at where Ravi’s head should be, and found him staring at him. The both gave nervous giggles, relaxing a little bit.

“Sorry,” they both said at the same time, before Ravi laughed.

“I guess I’m still a little nervous,” he said, giving an easy smile. Taekwoon found himself giving a very small smile back, wondering what was happening in his life. “Just, pretend I’m not here. Please.”

Taekwoon nodded and finally let himself pee, splashing on the back wall of the urinal. He heard Ravi also let go. It was a long minute before they were done. Taekwoon knew he shouldn’t have drank four cups of coffee before going to work. It seemed like Ravi was in the same boat. They both zipped up at the same time and moved to wash their hands, shy eyes meeting in the mirror.

“I’m Ravi,” he said, smiling in the mirror. Taekwoon gave a quick nod. “I know,” he responded. Ravi laughed again, and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with his still wet hand. “Sorry, I know you were just in the room with me,”

“No,” Taekwoon interrupted, surprised at himself. Ravi looked a little apprehensive as Taekwoon turned his whole body to face the other man, breaking eye contact in the mirror. Ravi turned his body as well so that they could converse face to face, but took a step back once he realized Taekwoon was standing just a few inches from him.

“No,” Taekwoon said again. “No, sorry. I mean, yes I know your name is Ravi. I’m…” he paused, rubbing his finger under his nose to get rid of an itch. “I’m a fan. Of your work, I mean.”

Ravi looked surprised, eyes widened slightly, and subconsciously mirrored what Taekwoon was doing and rubbed his nose. “Oh. Um, thank you,” he said finally. He rubbed his hand through his hair again, messing up the style he gelled earlier. “Sorry, I, um, forget your name.”

“Taekwoon. Jung Taekwoon.”

They stared for a few more seconds before Ravi gestured towards the door. “Do you want to come get some coffee with me at the café? My treat.”

_Yes,_ Taekwoon thought, but quickly shook his head, realizing that he was supposed to get back to work soon. Ravi’s face fell. “Okay. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“It’s not like that,” Taekwoon said and tried to use his hands to convey what he meant, but found that it wasn’t helping at all. “I need to get back to work.”

“Right,” Ravi said, mostly to himself. “Right.”

They stared for a few more seconds, both unsure how to get out of the situation they put themselves in. Finally Ravi spoke again. “I’m going to leave. It was nice meeting you.” He didn’t even wait for a response before he waved goodbye and quickly left the bathroom.

Taekwoon kept waving for another minute before he gathered himself back together, splashed some water on his face, and walked out of the bathroom, powerwalking back to where he was supposed to be working.

\--

Ravi rushed from the bathroom and practically ran to the café before he plopped down in a chair, bringing his arms up to the table and resting his head on them. _What the hell was that?_ he asked himself, scrubbing at his eyes before remembering that he made sure to put extra-thick eyeliner on that morning.

He sighed before he fished his phone out of his pocket, and looked at his messages.

**Hakyeon: Good luck Wonshik!!**

**Hyuk: Hwaiting, hyung!**

**Jaehwan: I love you! Come home soon!**

The words were encouraging, especially after his disastrous meeting in the men’s room. He felt like the interview went alright, but he was distracted slightly by Taekwoon’s constant staring.

He groaned lowly, kicking his feet slightly under the table. _How embarrassing._

**Wonshik: I think the interview went well. I got to talk about my passion for music. But, something happened. Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, but I would rather talk about it tonight than explain over text.**

He dropped his phone on the table before laying his head on his arms. He felt mentally exhausted after that meeting, and all that he wanted to do was go into his studio and work until he fell asleep at his keyboard. But they still had a whole group filming session left later that afternoon for the opening of the show.

Ravi glanced up slightly when he noticed a flash of light coming from the corner of his eye. His phone had just turned dark when he picked it up again, opened it and glanced at the message that waited for him.

**Hakyeon: Oh, no. I hope you’re okay. Just focus on the rest of your filming today and then we will talk tonight.**

He tapped back, forever grateful for his hyung’s words.

**Wonshik: Thank you. I will. Don’t worry.**

The next message came a lot quicker.

**Hakyeon: It’s my job to worry** **J**

Ravi didn’t reply. He stuck his phone in his pocket and then migrated to the counter near the back wall of the café. He waited for his Americano then sat back down at his table and put in his headphones, trying to calm himself with music.

About half an hour later, someone took the seat in front of him. He looked up and took out his headphones when he saw Minsook smiling at him.

“You looked lonely just sitting here alone, so I decided to join you.”

They ended up talking about music for another half an hour before they wandered back up to the main room where they were going to film the opening sequence. As they walked in, Ravi noticed Taekwoon standing behind a camera with other staff, not talking to anyone. His hands were pulled into his sleeves so that only the tips of his fingers were poking out. It would be endearing if Ravi wasn’t still embarrassed about what happened earlier.

The filming took five hours, and everyone was exhausted after that much standing. Ravi was very glad for his experience in front of cameras because some of the competitors looked nervous and fidgety. Korea would be voting on their favorite composers throughout the competition, and it is important to give off a good first impression.

When the cameras were turned off, and everyone congratulated each other on their good work for the first day of filming, Ravi turned to leave with his manager, noticing Taekwoon standing close to the door, lugging around his equipment. They made eye contact briefly before Taekwoon looked away, ears gaining a bit of red. Ravi crossed his arms over his chest, but continued walking. He ended up falling asleep in the car, only waking up an hour later once they reached the dorm.

He was still rubbing sleep out of his eyes when he walked through the door. Hakyeon was on the couch, watching tv, and eating chicken. He looked up when Ravi walked in, immediately putting his half-eaten piece of chicken back in the box, and stood up.

“Wonshik-ie,” he beckoned him over with a wave. “Come sit down and tell me everything.”

Ravi slipped off his shoes and padded over, folding a leg under himself as he sat down. He rubbed harshly at his eyes before Hakyeon smacked his hand away with a glare.

“Don’t do that,” he scolded. “You’ll burst a blood vessel. Besides, your makeup is already smudged. Wash your face first then come back.”

“Yes, mom,” Ravi teased. Hakyeon kicked at him playfully and waited patiently for him to come back, fiddling with his half-eaten drumstick.

“Is Ravi-hyung back yet?” Hyuk asked as he wandered into the living room, one hand scratching at his belly. “I thought I heard his voice.”

Hakyeon nodded at him before gesturing towards the bathroom door. “Yeah, he’s just washing his face now.”

Hyuk glanced towards the door. “Do you know what happened earlier today?” he asked, turning towards the leader questioningly. Hakyeon just shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, he was about to tell me about his day. You want to listen too?”

Hyuk nodded. “Yeah. I think the others might want to hear as well. I’ll go tell them he’s back.”

“Alright, our cute Hyogi!” he said, grinning as the maknae scowled.

“It’s Hyuk, hyung,” Hyuk growled as he stalked off, feet pounding harshly against the floor. He opened one of the bedroom doors and Hakyeon could hear him talking to whoever was in the room. The sound of feet padding against the wooden floors sounded again, and three bodies entered the room, moving forward to sit on the couch with Hakyeon, but he shooed them away. Jaehwan pouted at him.

“You three have been doing nothing all day. Wonshik has been working hard and deserves a break.” They opened their mouths to protest, but Hakyeon silenced them before they could even speak. “Don’t even think about it. You all can sit on the floor.”

Ravi walked out of the bathroom, face fresh and free of makeup. His hair was also slightly damp, wet locks falling into his eyes freely. He raised an eyebrow as he noted the people sulking on the floor. He turned to Hakyeon. “I see you’ve multiplied.”

“Yah, Kim Ravi,” Hongbin scolded. “Acknowledge us.”

Ravi turned towards the people and said somewhat sarcastically “I’m home. Long time no see.”

Hakyeon interrupted them before it could turn into a fight. “Sit down,” he said, patting the space on the couch next to him. “Tell us about your day. How was it? Who is your new friend? How was filming?”

Ravi started his story, telling them everything except his encounter with the cameraman Taekwoon. The whole story of his day took half an hour to explain, as members were constantly interrupting and asking questions. They seemed generally happy for him, and teased him about finally making a friend by himself.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at Jaehwan, who had loudly stated the comment. Jaehwan just laughed.

“You have, like, two friends. We don’t count. And you met them through other people. You don’t make friends easily.” Hongbin and Hyuk nodded at that statement, but Hakyeon looked ready to interject and fix the situation before it got out of hand. His eyes were blazing and he was already raising a palm, getting ready to strike out at the neck of whoever said another comment. But Ravi just laughed it off.

“No. I guess you’re right. Kai doesn’t really count, and I met Taemin through Kai. I honestly don’t make friends easily. But Minsook-hyung approached me first.”

The members teased him about that topic some more, and Hakyeon just sat back, listening to the younger members talk to each other. It was sometimes lonely, being the oldest member in the group. He sometimes felt like he was their parent. Jaehwan was only two years younger than him, but he acted like he was Hyuk’s age. Ravi was three years younger than him, but sometimes he felt older, offering comfort to Hakyeon when things were busy, or when his mind was filled with doubts. But it was times like this that he could really see Ravi’s true age.

Suddenly Hakyeon remembered something. “Oh yeah, Ravi.” Ravi looked up with a questioning look on his face. “What was the thing that you didn’t want to tell us over KakaoTalk?” He took a quick breath in before grimacing, embarrassment clear in his features. His action made the rest of the members curious too.

“What happened?” Hongbin asked again, curious why Ravi looked like he wanted to sink into the sofa and never get up again.

“I-” he stopped. “God, this is so embarrassing. You have no idea.”

Everyone looked at him curiously, but Hongbin interrupted again, sounding impatient. “You’re right. We have no idea. So please tell us.”

“Right,” he said, hesitating, unsure how to start he story. “To put it simply, I embarrassed myself in front of one of the cameramen today.”

Hyuk shrugged. “So? We do that every day. Idols are supposed to embarrass themselves in front of the cameras. It’s the idol prerogative.”

But Ravi shook his head. “No, the camera wasn’t on. It was right after my interview, okay? I went to the bathroom, and the cameraman was in there, and… you guys can’t laugh alright? I was really nervous.” They all nodded, extremely curious as to what happened. “I asked him if I was okay in the interview, but he had his dick out at the urinal and then we were both too embarrassed to pee and there was a lot of awkward tension and – stop laughing” he said, pointing at the three on the floor. But they were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. They leaned against each other as their tears started to fall.

Ravi turned to Hakyeon, who wasn’t laughing, instead glaring at the three members on the floor. He looked up when he felt Ravi’s stare and pursed his lips giving a small nod before standing up.

“Alright you three punks. Get up.” They stopped laughing and stared at him, tear tracks clear on their face. He could see that all three of them were hiding a smile, their lips twitching in an effort to keep everything in. Hakyeon pointed to the hallway. “All three of you should go to your room now.”

They looked ready to protest, but kept silent after reading the seriousness in the leader’s eyes. They grumbled as they followed each other into the bedroom and there was a moment of silence before laughter could be heard from behind the closed door. Hakyeon closed his eyes slowly in frustration then turned to Ravi who looked like he wanted to die on the couch, arm draped dramatically over his eyes.

Hakyeon patted his feet to hint at Ravi to move them so he could sit down. There was a minute of silence before Hayeon spoke again. “Is there something you wanted to add to that?” Ravi moved his arm away from his eyes in order to glance at Hakyeon. “I think there’s a little more to it.”

Ravi nodded slightly before rubbing at his eyes again. “Yeah, hyung, I don’t know. Even in the interview he was acting…strange. He was staring at me the entire time, and not in the camera. It was disconcerting and kind of threw me off.”

Hakyeon felt alarmed, worried over the safety of one of his closest friends. It brought a different dimension to the story.

“Wonshik, that sounds pretty serious, and creepy. I don’t like the idea of a thirty something year old preying on you-”

Ravi cut him off. “He’s hot, hyung.”

Hakyeon stopped, distracted. What Ravi said did not register in his head for several seconds, and it caused his brain to stop temporarily. “I’m sorry?” he asked.

Ravi groaned and threw his arm over his eyes again, already regretting this line of conversation. “He’s hot, hyung. And young. He looked to be around your age. I also apologized and asked him out for coffee but he said no,” there was a pause, “because he was working.”

Hakyeon didn’t say anything, trying to process what he had just been told. Truthfully, he wasn’t expecting the confession, and it threw him for a loop. He was unsure how to proceed, especially because it seemed like Wonshik embarrassed himself in front of a potential crush, not an old man.

“What should I do, hyung?” Ravi asked, as he looked, pleading, into Hakyeon’s eyes, expecting him to have the answers to his problem.

“You just keep being nice to him,” Hakyeon said. “Apologize again. You two are going to be working together for a long time. I’m sure he has some of the same feelings about this situation that you do.”

Ravi groaned and tried to hide from Hakyeon by putting a pillow over his face. He mumbled something into the fabric.

“Hm. What did you say Wonshik-ie?” he asked.

Ravi removed the pillow and looked up at Hakyeon. “I said that you don’t know that we will be working together for a long time. I could be eliminated in the first week.”

Hakyeon nodded. “That’s true, but I don’t believe that.”

“Hyung,” Ravi started, trying to contest Hakyeon’s statement.

“No, Wonshik. Just apologize to the man, work well with him, buy him coffee. You are a nice person, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out. Now, what have you been working on recently?”

Ravi grumbled, but allowed the change in conversation.

\--

Taekwoon’s mother came home from the store to see her son laying on the couch, Minyool balanced on his chest. Her grandson was kicking his feet at Taekwoon’s face, who was just staring off into space, lightly shaking his nephew’s waist in a little dance. She quickly put the groceries away and came back into the room, her son not even acknowledging her presence.

“Son, are you okay?” she asked, getting slightly worried at the lack of response. He seemed to blink out of his daze and tilted his head back to look at her before he frowned and brought Minyool closer to his face in order to blow on his stomach, eliciting small giggles. She walked up to the side of the couch and reached out her arms to take Minyool, but Taekwoon just pulled him closer, cuddling the baby against his chest.

“Where’s your sister?” she asked, not wondering about the answer, but wanting her son to speak to her.

There was a long pause, but she knew her son well enough to know that he would answer her question soon. “She’s out with her husband.”

“And what are they doing?” she prompted again, hoping to hear a longer sentence.

Another pause. “They are spending time together. They haven’t really had a date since Minyool was born. I offered to watch him.”

Of course he offered to watch him. Her son loved his nephew. He had always loved kids, and seemed more excited than his sister for the birth of Minyool. He was constantly stealing him to bring him on walks, or play music with him, or just have someone to talk to. This was a blessing for the family. Her daughter helped around the house, but during the evening she needed a break, and Taekwoon would watch her son when she needed to recharge. He worked hard every day and didn’t make friends easily, so Minyool became his way to recharge, and his confidant. She is sure Minyool knows more about her son than any other person alive.

“Sit up, son,” Taekwoon’s mother said, pushing at her son’s feet. He groaned, but sat up, shifting Minyool to a more comfortable position on his lap.

“Now, how was work today?”

Her son gave her an unimpressed look, but the corner of his eyes crinkled in tension and she could tell that something definitely happened.

“Is someone giving you a hard time?” she asked, looking at his expression carefully, but he shook his head no.

“Just, something awkward happened and I-” her son started, eyes roaming around the room, not focusing on anything as he tried to think of how to phrase his answer. He stroked the back of Minyool’s head as he thought. She waited patiently.

“Something happened with one of the contestants. It wasn’t bad,” he clarified, as he heard her open her mouth and suck in a breath to say something, “but-.” He gestured with one hand, and she could see that he was frustrated with his lack of words to explain the situation. She rubbed his back and smiled at him softly.

“Whatever it is, you will work it out, Taekwoon.”

Her son looked up at her and she gave an encouraging smile. He gave a small smile back, patting his mother’s hand, before standing up. “Minyool-ie and I are going to go play with blocks in my room.”

She nodded and stood up too, bringing up a hand to stroke Minyool’s soft, baby hair. “Okay,” she said. “I will be in the kitchen.”

She heard a soft “thanks, mom” as she was exiting, and smiled to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter, but the next one will be longer. Let me know what you think!

Taekwoon had been travelling around all day with a writer, a hair and makeup artist, and an audio technician in order to film the contestants at their studios, working on their first challenge piece, based on the set theme “dynamics.” There were three other teams of crew wandering around the city, hitting up the companies, schools, and homes of the contestants. They were getting shots of how the contestants work, their working environment, as well as a sneak peak of the song they were working on. It took about two hours to set up and film what they need at each location, so Taekwoon’s team had already been working for ten hours by the time they arrive at their last stop for the day.

Taekwoon hadn’t been paying attention when the writer stated where they going once they packed everything in the van at the last location, so he was surprised when they stopped at a company in a more residential area of Seoul. The building was narrow, but tall, and when he looked up, he immediately groaned when he realized they were unloading their equipment in front of Jellyfish.

_Great,_ he thought, already dreading the confrontation that would follow. It had been four days since their last meeting in the bathroom, and Taekwoon was still feeling uneasy about how he should act in front of Ravi. _Just relax,_ he told himself. _You won’t even have time to talk to each other._

“Are you coming, Taekwoon?” Kiseop, the audio technician, asked as he picked up a heavy, black bag and slung it over his shoulder. Taekwoon nodded at him and shouldered his camera and grabbed the tripod as well, just in case they would need a steady shot.

As they entered Jellyfish, Taekwoon was surprised at the look of the building. He had seen the interior in videos before, when Vixx filmed Vixx TV or for dance practices, but it looked different in real life. The group were directed by someone in the building down a set of stairs and into a cramped hallway with several doors leading to different rooms. The group of four successfully found Ravi’s workroom, and knocked on the door. The writer peered through the frosted glass of the door, trying to see if Ravi heard their knock, but he did not turn, his headphones securely around his ears.

The writer turned to the rest of the group. “Okay, you three. I’m going to go in. We are all tired, so let’s try and get this done as soon as possible. Minji,” she turned to the woman standing on her left who worked on the contestants’ makeup and hair, “as soon as we get his attention, you get started, and I will explain to him what he needs to do while Taekwoon and Kiseop set up their equipment.”

They all nodded and she turned back around, entered the room, and called his name one more time. “Ravi-ssi?”

From outside, they heard his swear before apologizing, but the writer just shrugged it off. “It’s okay, Ravi. We are hoping to film you working today and talk to you a little about what you are doing. We’ll get you into hair and makeup right away while the filming crew sets up. Alright?” The three people standing outside heard a quiet answer.

When Ravi walked out of his small studio room, he immediately locked eyes with Taekwoon and flushed a deep red, bowing his head in greeting. “Hello, everyone. I look forward to working with you today.”

Kiseop and Minji greeted him as well, smiling at him, before Minji whisked him off up the stairs in order to find a room with more light and a plug so she could fix his hair and makeup. The writer followed behind them, already chatting to Ravi about what was expected of him during the filming that day. Taekwoon stared after them for a minute before Kiseop grabbed his arm and mumbled “let’s start setting up the equipment.”

They looked around Ravi’s studio and frowned slightly. “It’s a little small,” Kiseop noted, looking around and trying to find a way to allow four people, a camera and sound equipment, as well as Ravi himself in the room. Taekwoon put his camera down in a corner of the hallway and motioned to the folded futon pushed against the back wall.

“Let’s push this into the hallway. We could probably keep the door open, and Minji could stand out here while we film.”

Kiseop nodded in acceptance and grabbed the metal wrung on the side of the folded futon, pulling in through the doorway of the studio. “Do you think he sleeps here a lot?” he asked, as he pushed the futon against the wall of the hallway. Taekwoon just shrugged, but he knew that Ravi, more often than not, spent all his free time in the studio, and only slept when he was too tired to stay awake. Sometimes that meant sleeping in the company building.

They finished setting up their equipment and had ten minutes to rest before Ravi and the other crew members made their way back down the stairs to the studio. Taekwoon’s breath hitched when he noticed Ravi’s hair was styled up, baring his forehead. It was a little messy, and Taekwoon was glad that Minji knew what she was doing when she decided to get Ravi’s hair out of his eyes. It made him look more handsome.

“Are you ready?” the writer asked as she ushered everyone into the room before sitting on the floor in front of the camera. Taekwoon started recording on his camera and motioned for Ravi to clap his hands in order to help with syncing the video and audio later.

\--

The filming wrapped nicely after around an hour, and Ravi was glad to stand up and stretch out his arms. He had been sitting in the chair, working on composing since nine that morning, and he was exhausted. He only took a break to grab a bag of chips for lunch, and to get his hair and makeup done once the crew arrived.

When he saw Taekwoon in his personal space, he was a little unsure of what to do, but it seemed like he was happy to ignore him, so Ravi just shrugged it off. The interview went well, and he had a good portion of his composition hashed out. He was hoping to finish the basic structure before he went to bed that night, and he would spend the next several days fine-tuning everything.

Once everyone was packed up and ready to leave, Ravi offered to walk them to the door and bring out some of the equipment. They tried to refuse, but he insisted.

As they walked up the stairs, Ravi glanced at Taekwoon’s back, slightly hunched over as he carried his equipment back to their van. Minji hopped into the van with her small bag, and Taekwoon and the audio technician packed the equipment in the trunk of their vehicle.

“Taekwoon-hyung, can I talk to you for a minute?” Ravi said, seemingly catching him off guard. Taekwoon turned to him, and Kiseop gave the two of them a questioning glance before slamming the door of the trunk and going around the side of the van to sit in the front seat. Ravi was sure Taekwoon would be questioned later.

“What?” Taekwoon asked, tone calm. He glanced into Ravi’s eyes, and Ravi had to gulp down the saliva that built up in his mouth before continuing.

“Again, I’m sorry for what happened. I think I made you uncomfortable.” Ravi saw Taekwoon shrug his shoulders slightly, staring down at his feet. “Can I make it up to you by buying you some coffee?”

Taekwoon’s head slowly raised, and he stared into Ravi’s eyes, opening his mouth several times before clamping it shut. He started scratching his neck, looking unsure as to how to answer. Ravi felt his heart sink, realizing what that probably meant.

“Oh. It’s okay, hyung,” he said, giving a small smile. Taekwoon opened his mouth, but closed it again, still looking unsure. “You don’t have to. I’m sorry. I’ll let you go now.” He stepped away from the car, for all purposes intending to go back into the company building, but Taekwoon reached out for his arm to stop him.

“I can’t,” he said, “I have to bring these tapes back to the studio.” Ravi nodded his head slowly, accepting the reality of the situation, so he was completely surprised when Taekwoon spoke again. “But, I can come back. Here, I mean. I’ll…Will you still be here in an hour?”

Ravi just stared with his mouth slightly open, not registering what was said for several seconds. Then, he started nodding enthusiastically and smiled brightly. “Yes,” he half shouted. “Yes, hyung, I’ll be here. Just give me your cellphone number and text me when you arrive so I can let you in.” Ravi was already reaching into his pocket to grab his phone, and he whipped it out, quickly opening a new contact, and passed the phone over to the older boy.

“Taekwoon-” a voice sounded from the car. Both boys looked over and noticed Kiseop, upper body hanging out of the window, slightly glaring at the two. “We need to head out now.”

Taekwoon nodded, quickly typing his number into Ravi’s phone before saying goodbye and waving slightly. He climbed into the back of the van, and it sped off, leaving Ravi to stare after it for a few minutes before he went back inside, not quite comprehending what had just happened.

\--

It took ten minutes of sitting at his workstation, staring at his keyboard, before Ravi realized that he didn’t have time to give Taekwoon his number. He grabbed his phone, thumbed in his password, and then scrolled through his contacts, hovering over the name that said Jung Taekwoon. He breathed through his nose deeply before tapping the messaging icon.

**Wonshik: Hyung, this is Ravi. You left without me having a chance to give you my number. Remember to call when you are outside!**

It was another ten minutes of waiting before he received a reply, eyes lighting up at the text tone.

**Jung Taekwoon: Thank you, Ravi-ssi. I will call in about 45 minutes.**

Ravi grinned before quickly tapping out another message.

**Wonshik: Alright, hyung. See you soon!**

His heart fluttered in his chest as he set his phone down. Restless and unable to compose, Ravi went on Twitter to read through some comments on his posts. The minutes between Taekwoon’s last text message and his phone call passed excruciatingly slow, leaving Ravi to ring his hands uselessly and start to re-think his decision to invite the other man for coffee.

Ravi’s heart jumped as his phone started buzzing on his desk, and he quickly picked up his phone. He waited for a few more rings to avoid looking desperate, then answered the call, already standing up to walk up the stairs to the entrance of the company.

“Hello?” Ravi said into his phone.

“Um…hello, Ravi-ssi. This is Jung Taekwoon,” he heard over the line, the soft voice making it difficult to understand what he was saying. “I’m outside your building.”

“Great!” Ravi replied, half up the stairs already, leaping on them two at a time. “I’ll be there in a few seconds.” He heard a click over the line and looked at the screen of his phone, noting that Taekwoon had hung up the call.

When Ravi spotted him, he waved and started to smile. For some reason, just seeing the other man put a smile on his face, and made him feel happier.

“Let’s go get some coffee,” he said instead of a greeting. He curled his fingers over the cloth of Taekwoon’s sleeve and tugged, feeling a slight resistance before the man followed him. But Taekwoon quickly shook Ravi’s hand off his arm before pulling his hands into his sleeves. Ravi found it endearing. “It’s just a block this way,” he said, pointing in the direction of the café.

The two of them walked in silence. Ravi kept eyeing Taekwoon out of the corner of his eye, watching as the man walked with long strides, shoulders slightly hunched over. Ravi cleared the silence. “So, hyung. How old are you?”

Taekwoon turned his head when he heard Ravi speak, and mumbled quietly “26 years old.”

Ravi was surprised. “Really, hyung?” Taekwoon nodded his head. “You look a little younger than that, but you’re actually 3 years older than me! You’re Hakyeon-hyung’s age.”

Taekwoon glared before asking if his age was a problem.

“Oh, no, hyung. It’s not a problem. I just – wait, this is the shop right here. Let’s go in.” Ravi interrupted himself, pointing out the small coffee shop and walking towards the door. They entered and Ravi noticed that Taekwoon immediately inhaled deeply, a small smile settling on his face at the smell of the café.

“Hyung, do you know what you want to drink?” Ravi asked, pointing towards the counter. Taekwoon muttered a soft “latte” and took a few steps towards the register, intent on getting his coffee as quickly as possible. But Ravi grabbed his shoulder to stop him. “Nu-uh, hyung. Remember, I’m treating you today. Let me buy it for you.”

“You don’t have to. I can pay for my own coffee,” Taekwoon responded, turning under Ravi’s hand to look at his face.

Ravi shook his head no.

“You just find us a comfortable place to sit, I’ll order the coffee.”

It took a while for the coffee and cakes Ravi decided to order to come out, so the two of them sat, occasionally making small talk. When the waitress came with the coffee and cakes, she sat them down on the table and bowed before leaving. Taekwoon’s eyes lit up and he immediately reached for one of the forks in order to start eating. Ravi stared in astonishment as he watched the other man inhale a piece of cake in 30 seconds.

“Wow. You must really like cake.” Taekwoon nodded at that statement and took a sip of his coffee to wash it down. A blissed-out look appeared on his face.

“Yeah. I love cake. And coffee. I usually drink seven or eight cups a day.” That was the longest string of words he had spoken all day.

“Wow, and you haven’t died yet?” Ravi asked jokingly, which received a light glare. “Sorry. What else do you like? What do you do for fun?”

“I work a lot. There are a lot of long days. When I’m not working, I’m playing with my nephew, Minyool,” Taekwoon explained. He took out his phone and flipped through it before turning the screen around to show Ravi the picture on it. It was a picture Taekwoon’s sister had taken once of Minyool curled into Taekwoon’s arms. Taekwoon was staring off to the side, his eyes crinkled in a smile as Minyool slept.

“He’s so cute,” Ravi said, gushing at the chubby cheeks on the baby in the picture. “How old is he?”

“5 months,” Taekwoon said as he swiped to the next picture, showing his nephew on the floor playing with colored blocks. He kept swiping, and Ravi was amazed at the amount of pictures of Minyool Taekwoon had on his phone.

“You must care for him a lot,” he said quietly, watching the small smile on Taekwoon’s face.

Taekwoon nodded. “Yeah. I live with my sister, so I see him every day. When I don’t have to work, I take care of him. He’s precious and perfect.”

Hearing those words, and seeing the smile on Taekwoon’s face, marked the moment that Ravi fell. Hard.

\--

The two of them ended up chatting long after the coffee had been finished and the plates for the cakes taken away. It was nice to just sit and relax with someone. To Taekwoon, Ravi was a calm presence, and even though it was a little strange to be sitting and chatting with someone he had admired for a long time, it was enjoyable. Taekwoon didn’t spend a lot of time with people his own age outside of a working context.

“Hey, hyung,” Ravi said. Taekwoon gave a small _hmm_ in question to the phrase. “Do you want to come back to the studio with me? I have some other things I’ve been working on recently, and I want an unbiased opinion.”

Taekwoon thought about it for a minute, quickly going through a list in his head of all the possible negative points of the situation. There were surprisingly few. “Alright,” he finally said, nodding his head before he stood up. Ravi followed his lead and stood up as well, long legs reaching the door quickly.

They lightly chatted as they walked back to the studio. It was late, so they didn’t pass anyone on their short walk back. It was a slightly cool night, and Taekwoon shivered as they neared the studio. He didn’t know if it was from the wind or nerves at the thought of being alone with Ravi in a small space.

“You don’t talk a lot, do you, hyung,” Ravi asked as he grabbed his keys to open the door to the company. “It’s not a bad thing,” he was quick to clarify. “Just an observation.”

Taekwoon took several seconds to reply. “Yeah. I-” he paused, unsure of how to word what he wanted to say. “I was taught to think three times before I speak. I don’t want to unintentionally offend someone. I like to observe people, but sometimes that is taken the wrong way.”

Ravi shook his head. “No, I like it.” Taekwoon doubted that, and it must have shown on his face because Ravi laughed. “It’s true!” he said, defending himself. “All my Vixx members talk constantly. Whenever I need to relax, it’s difficult to find a place that is quiet, besides my studio. It’s kind of my escape.”

Taekwoon understood what Ravi was saying. His house was generally quiet, and he loved his family even when they were loud, but sometimes, he just needed to have time by himself. Especially after a long day at work, constantly surrounded by a hundred people. When that happened, he would hide, playing with Minyool in his room, or when it was really bad, he would sit in his closet with his laptop and compose songs.

“Yeah,” Taekwoon finally said. “I understand.”

They made it down to the studio and Ravi pulled up a song on his computer. “Okay, you have to be honest, alright? This was something I was working on before the competition.” Taekwoon nodded.

While he was listening, Taekwoon was both impressed and overly attentive, carefully making a list in his head of what he thought needed improvement. The list wasn’t very long, but there were some major changes that Taekwoon wasn’t sure he should suggest.

“So,” Ravi finally asked. “What did you think?”

There was a beat of silence before Taekwoon plucked up the courage to ask “Do you really want an honest opinion?” Ravi nodded. “The song is good, but the pre-chorus is too short. It transitions too quickly from the verse to the refrain, making it seem disjointed. There needs to be some kind of chord progression there.” Ravi was staring at him now, mouth slightly open. “Also, I think there needs to be a collision of the theme from the refrain and the verse to tie it closer together. At this moment, it seems like two different songs. And although that seems to be popular today in pop music, it’s just sloppy song writing,” Taekwoon finally finished.

Ravi was staring at him with his mouth opened. Taekwoon was about to apologize for picking apart his song, but Ravi started speaking first. “Taekwoon-hyung! You didn’t tell me you knew music!” He was smiling widely and clasped his hands together. Taekwoon felt nervous.

“Um, yeah. I’m trying to get my Master’s in composition. I can only take one class a semester though, because of work. It’s going…slowly.” Ravi still looked impressed, his eyes wide. He nodded his head.

“Okay, tell me all of that, but slower this time. Let’s figure this out.”

The two of them worked together for two hours, exchanging ideas for the song to make it sound cleaner. It was refreshing for Taekwoon to talk to someone about music, and they both seemed to have no problem working together and exchanging ideas. For the first time that day, Taekwoon felt completely comfortable being in the presence of his idol.

They didn’t notice the time passing until Taekwoon got a text message. He glanced at his phone at the sound and gaped at the time.

**Mom: Are you alright, son? I thought you would be back by now. Please text me to let me know you are okay.**

“Ravi-ah. I’m sorry. I need to go. It’s late.” Ravi checked his own phone and was surprised at the time. He also had a few texts from his members, wondering if he was going home that night.

“Wow, sorry. I didn’t notice the time passing. Yeah, you should probably head out. Do you need money for a cab?” Ravi asked, but Taekwoon shook his head.

“No, I’m fine,” he replied. “But, could you tell me where the nearest subway station is? I’m just going to take the train home. It’s not too far.”

Ravi nodded and stood up. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the station. Thanks, you know, for everything today. I’ll send you the song when I finish it. I want your opinion,” he said. Taekwoon was surprised, yet happy that Ravi seemed to want to try and be his friend. He nodded in thanks, and the two of them walked to the train station together, still exchanging ideas about the song they were working on fixing.

On the train, Taekwoon texted his mother, telling her that he would be back soon. He didn’t arrive home until 11:45pm, and only the hall light was on. Everyone else in the house seemed to be asleep. He peeked into Minyool’s room to see his nephew also asleep, clutching at his blanket. Taekwoon smiled slightly at the sight before he moved into his own room, grabbed his laptop, and started working on composing a new song, completely inspired by what happened earlier that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they are starting to become friends. Next chapter will be the competition, more hanging out, and Hakyeon. As always, you can find me on tumblr at leothevixxn, or on my writing blog tuberc-leo-fics.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next installment of the story. We get to see Hakyeon and Taekwoon finally interact, as well as a bit of the competition.

Life went on, slowly. Both Ravi and Taekwoon were busy with the show, so they didn’t meet up outside of work. They were filming twice a week on set with all of the competitors, and filming individual shots the other days of the week. It was difficult to find time to meet with anyone, new friends or not. Ravi found himself sleeping more and more often in his studio instead of making it back to the dorm.

The first day of filming as a group besides the opening shot was tiring. The competitors were put into teams and had to critique the work of everyone else. It was difficult, especially for Ravi as the youngest member of the competition. He didn’t know if what he wanted to say was appropriate to say to someone older and more experienced than him. However, the highlight of the filming is that he was put on the same team as Minsook, who took care of Ravi as an older brother.

Both cast and crew breaked for lunch at the same time, so Ravi and Minsook walked over together to the lunch table that was holding the food for everyone on the filming sight that day.

“Ooh. This looks great!” Minsook exclaimed as he picked up a lunchbox and grabbed some coffee.

The food did look good, and Ravi was happy that they were giving them this much to eat. He had heard horror stories previously about the kind of food given to people on sets, but the lunch was well balanced and appetizing.

Ravi saw Taekwoon walking with the audio technician from the previous day and waved at him. They didn’t see his hand, so he shouted “Taekwoon-hyung” and waited until the other man’s eyes found his before waving his hand and gesturing for him to come over.

Taekwoon wondered over, carrying a lunch box and a thermos that Ravi assumed was filled with coffee. “Minsook-hyung, this is Jung Taekwoon. And, I’m sorry, but I don’t know your name,” he introduced before turning apologetically to the other man walking with Taekwoon.

“No problem,” the man said. “I’m Yoo Kiseop. It’s nice to meet you, Ravi and Minsook.”

Minsook smiled his broad smile and laughed, bowing to the other two men. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too. Now, I’m assuming Kiseop-hyung is a hyung, but how old are you?” he asked Taekwoon.

Taekwoon flushed slightly before saying in his airy voice “ah, um, I’m 26 years old. It’s nice to meet you.”

Minsook grinned. “Well, aren’t you just the cutest.” Taekwoon opened his mouth to complain about the title, but Minsook waved him off. “I’m just kidding, Taekwoon. I’m your hyung, though. Let’s be friends. I promise I won’t call you cute again.” Taekwoon nodded, slightly taken about by the other man.

They passed an enjoyable lunch hour, just chatting, and Ravi was happy to be making more friends among the crew. Minsook was an amazing person, and an extremely talented composer. Ravi was happy to be his friend. Kiseop was also cool. He was a slightly older man and had been working as an audio technician for ten years. He told countless stories about the shows he worked on, and Ravi was impressed with all that the man had done.

“You must know a lot of celebrities,” he said after another story about a show Ravi had watched as a teenager. Kiseop nodded.

“Yeah, sometimes it’s difficult because they aren’t always nice, but I love my job, and I’m good at it. Maybe someday I’ll become a writer or producer or something,” he said laughing.

Taekwoon was quiet for the most part, but he has a smile on his face while listening to the others talk. Ravi did try and include him in some conversations though.

“He’s really good,” he explained to Minsook and Kiseop when they got on to the topic of composing and music. “He’s studying composing in school.” The two older men turned towards Taekwoon at that, and his head ducked down, tips of his ears turning a bright red.

“No,” Taekwoon tried to explain, “I’m really not that good.”

“He is, though,” Ravi interjected. “He should honestly be on this show.”

Taekwoon shook his head viciously. “No. I really shouldn’t be. I don’t like attention. I like being behind the camera, not in front of it.”

Minsook leaned over and ruffled his hair, grinning when Taekwoon pushed away his hand with a huff. “You’ll have to show us sometime. Maybe after I win the show, aye?” Minsook joked.

Ravi laughed with Kiseop, and Kiseop opened his mouth to embarrass Taekwoon even more. “You should hear him sing sometime too. He’s-” But he was cut off mid-phrase when Taekwoon leaned over quickly and slammed his hand over Kiseop’s mouth, blushing a bright red.

But Ravi and Minsook were curious. They turned towards Kiseop who had just licked Taekwoon’s palm. “Is he really that good?” Minsook asked. Ravi wanted to know as well, and watched Taekwoon’s face as Kiseop answered.

“Yeah. I swear, if he wasn’t so shy, he would be the perfect ballad singer. His voice is killer.”

By this point, Taekwoon had hidden his face in his arms, but the tips of his ears could still be seen. He was bright red. “Please stop,” he murmured into his arms.

Kiseop agreed, but it made Ravi even more curious about his new friend. They moved safely onto other topics, but soon the lunch hour was over, and everyone had to gather for more filming. Ravi watched Taekwoon as he lumbered back over to where his camera was set up before turning back to Minsook and moving to their positions.

\--

The next time they saw each other was at the first elimination round. Ravi was beyond nervous as he and the other competitors lined up. They had all been working hard for the past week plus in order to make the best first song based on the theme “dynamics” as possible. Usually, Ravi would spend weeks, or even months trying to perfect a song, and the pressure to release good music in a short amount of time was astounding, but he was lucky that he was not the only person to feel the pressure. Looking around, he noticed that many competitors looked nervous.

“I’m about to shit my pants,” Minsook whispered to him as they stood next to each other. Ravi turned to him incredulously.

“Hyung, your song is amazing. You should not be worried,” he stated. And it was true. Minsook was an extremely talented composer, and Ravi, over the course of the week, had started to look up to the older man more and more. He knew music so intimately that composing a song was like solving a mathematical formula, with a lot of creativity mixed in.

“It’s not that I’m worried, but I think I drank some bad milk this morning,” Minsook complained. Ravi laughed but turned it into a small cough, surprised at the bold words of his friend. “I think I’ll have an accident if I don’t go to the bathroom soon,” he whispered.

“Go tell a writer. They’ll film around it,” Ravi whispered back. It was Minsook’s turn to look incredulously at Ravi.

“Really?” he asked. Ravi nodded, surprised, before he remembered that this was Minsook’s first time filming anything. Even if he was a talented composer, he had never been on television before, and was an unknown to anyone but his friends and professors at university.

“Yeah. Here, wave your hand to a writer to grab their attention. They’ll just edit it out later. This shot of us standing around isn’t that important either, and they can just use a reaction that you filmed earlier or later. They show things out of order all the time.”

Minsook nodded at him and followed his instructions. He talked with the writer and Ravi saw her shoo him off, shaking her head with a small smile. Apparently even if Minsook needed to leave the filming, he could still charm the people around him.

Filming took a long time, and everyone was exhausted towards the end. They listened to everyone’s pieces, had them critiqued by the judges, and had to defend themselves. For the most part, Ravi got good reviews, which he was happy about. Some people were completely torn apart by the judges. Minsook, on the other hand, was praised by everyone. He honestly was a musical genius.

Two of the competitors were eliminated that night, and Ravi wasn’t sad to see either of them go. He didn’t know them, but their songs were just adequate and didn’t have any real substance to them. Mostly, Ravi was glad to have made it through the first round.

Once the two were gone to film their exit interviews with a team of the crew members, the judges stood up and had everyone line up so they could explain the next theme.

“Alright everyone. Congratulations on passing through the first round.” Everyone cheered and clapped at that, playing it up for the cameras. The man smiled before continuing. “The theme of the next week will be _rebirth of an old song._ ” Everyone started murmuring to each other, unsure what that meant.

“We have eighteen popular Korean songs from the 60s and 70s. Tomorrow we will have a competition to pick the song you would like to change into a song of the modern day. We will see you all tomorrow morning. Good luck!”

The shoot continued for a little while. Several people were pulled aside to give interviews about their thoughts on the first week of competition and what they thought the next day would bring. Ravi watched as Minsook smiled at the camera, completely charming the audience.

_Oh,_ Ravi thought. _That’s Taekwoon. Once they’re done filming, I’ll go say hi._

Ravi was one of the next people interviewed, and when his interview wrapped up, he noticed Minsook and Taekwoon talking, the camera turned off. He walked over to the two of them.

As he approached, Taekwoon said something to Minsook and nudged him, pointing towards Ravi. Ravi raised an eyebrow at that. “Ravi!” Minsook said, “We were just talking about you.”

“Really?” he asked, turning towards Taekwoon who had his head bowed.

“You both did really well,” Taekwoon murmured, cheeks flushing slightly. Ravi smiled at him.

“Thanks. You two want to go eat something? I’m starving,” Ravi asked. But Minsook shook his head.

“Sorry Ravi-Ravi. I’m meeting with my friends. Got to tell them I survived. Don’t tell anyone I’m giving away spoilers, though,” Minsook said, cheekily winking at the both of them. He waved goodbye and exited the filming site, greeting several people on his way out.

Ravi turned to Taekwoon. “Are you up for some food? We could invite Kiseop-hyung as well.”

Taekwoon nodded his head before shaking it. “I could eat, but I think Kiseop-hyung is going to go home and eat with his wife.”

Ravi nodded slowly. “Okay, let me tell my manager, then we can get going.”

“Okay,” Taekwoon responded. While Ravi made a phone call, Taekwoon took out his phone and texted his mother.

**Taekwoon: Mom, we just finished shooting. I’m going to eat with a friend tonight. I’ll be back later.**

He got a reply back a minute later while Ravi was still on the phone with his manager.

**Mom: Okay, son. I’ll see you later. Stay safe.**

“You ready?” Ravi asked as he turned back around, phone tucked into this pocket. Taekwoon nodded and put his phone away as well before they turned to walk out of the building.

They walked for several minutes, lightly chatting as they tried to find some place to eat. While they were walking, Ravi felt a buzz coming from his pocket.

“Sorry,” he said, taking out his phone, “Let me look at this. It might be important.”

Taekwoon nodded his head.

**Hakyeon: Why did I just overhear a phone call to the manager saying you would not be coming home even though the filming is over?**

Ravi groaned. “Sorry. Can we stop for a minute? I need to answer this.” Taekwoon just shrugged and watched as Ravi tapped out a reply.

**Wonshik: Wow, hyung. Listening in to phone calls?**

**Hakyeon: Answer my question Kim Wonshik.**

**Wonshik: I’m going out to eat with one of my new friends. Did I need to get permission from you?**

**Hakyeon: You promised to eat with me tonight after the filming. I watched the kids eat already and now I’m starving.**

Ravi frowned. Did he promise that? He honestly couldn’t remember.

**Wonshik: What do you want me to do, hyung? Tell him that I changed my mind?**

**Hakyeon: Where are you right now?**

Ravi groaned before turning to Taekwoon. “Sorry, hyung. Hakyeon-hyung is being…aggressive. Give me another minute, alright?”

Taekwoon just nodded. “I don’t mind.” Ravi gave him a look, not quite believing that, before continuing to message the leader.

**Wonshik: Hyung. No. Why do you want to come with?**

**Hakyeon: If you are really friends, he would meet me eventually anyway. Might as well be now. Besides, you promised.**

And that was…actually a sound argument. Ravi couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“Taekwoon-hyung,” Ravi finally said, hesitating before he continued. “I’m sorry, but would you mind if Hakyeon-hyung came with us? Somehow, I forgot that I promised to eat with him, and he’s getting pissy about it.”

“If you made a promise, you should keep it,” Taekwoon said. “I’ll just go home and eat with my mom.”

“No. No,” Ravi interjected. “It’s okay. Eat with us. I mentioned a friend, and he wants to meet you anyway, so…” Ravi trailed off awkwardly. He looked up at Taekwoon, who still looked indecisive. “Seriously, he loves meeting my friends. He’s like an overbearing mom sometimes. Plus, I think he’ll like you,” he added. And that was a true statement. Hakyeon would absolutely adore Taekwoon, and just thinking that, Ravi started to feel sorry for Taekwoon, that he couldn’t protect him.

“Um,” Taekwoon started, and Ravi noticed him chewing on his lip. “I’ve seen him in interviews and he seems a bit…” Taekwoon trailed off, unsure how to continue, but Ravi got the message.

“Yeah, hyung. Sorry about that. But honestly, he’s very friendly and kind, and he needs more friends too. You guys are the same age. I think you’ll get along well.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly, trying to process what was said before he spoke again. “Okay, tell him that it’s okay. Let’s head out in that direction. You live near your company building, right?” At Ravi’s nod, Taekwoon continued. “Okay, let’s take the bus over there. It will be more convenient for you guys, and you know the restaurants in the area.”

“Okay, hyung. Let me call him and let him know. Let’s start walking to a station though.”

Ravi took out his phone to call Hakyeon while Taekwoon looked up the bus routes in the area, trying to determine which bus to take.

Taekwoon half-listened while Ravi was on the phone. He sounded exasperated and it seemed like he couldn’t really speak a full sentence without being interrupted, but he was smiling by the time he hung up the phone.

“Alright, do you know where we’re going?” he asked Taekwoon. He nodded and pointed in the direction that they had been walking in. The eventually found the bus stop and waited for about ten minutes until their bus came. From there, it was a 45 minute ride to the neighborhood Ravi lived in.

“It’s this way, hyung,” Ravi said, quickly finding his way now that he was back in familiar territory. “Hakyeon-hyung already picked a restaurant. I’m going to text him to tell him we are on our way.”

They eventually wandered into a brightly lit, small restaurant. There were only a few group sitting at the tables, and Ravi looked around before moving to an empty table near the back of the restaurant. “I don’t see him,” he said. “I think we got here first.”

They sat in comfortable silence until they heard the door open. Ravi turned around and spotted Hakyeon, who was red-cheeked, slightly out of breath, and grinning widely. He saw Ravi and his friend at a table and immediately made his way over before collapsing across from Taekwoon.

“Oh man, Wonshik. I’m so glad you’re here. I’m about to die, I’m so hungry. Let’s quickly order. Auntie~” he yelled to the owner of the restaurant. She made her way over, smiling at Hakyeon. “Can we get a double order of doenjang jjigae and two orders of bossam? Oh, can we also have some cola?” he said in a rush. She nodded and went to the kitchen to tell the chef their order. It was only when she was safely in the kitchen that Hakyeon turned toward his companions.

“Sorry about that,” he said, staring at Taekwoon with a smile on his face. “I’m starving. Hopefully you like bossam and doenjang jjigae. I’m Vixx’s leader, N. My real name is Hakyeon. It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?” Taekwoon just stared at him, taken aback by the whirlwind that is Cha Hakyeon. When he didn’t answer after ten seconds Hakyeon turned towards Ravi. “Does your friend talk?”

Ravi huffed. “Of course he talks, hyung. You kind of just blew in here and ordered food for us without even saying hello. This is Taekwoon-hyung. Please, please, be kind to him.”

Hakyeon turned back to the other man. “How old are you, Taekwoon-ssi? I’m 26 this year.”

Taekwoon cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m also 26 years old. It’s nice to meet you Hakyeon-ssi.”

Hakyeon stared at him before shaking his head. “No, no. We’re friends now, Taekwoon-ah. Just call me Hakyeon. Are you taking good care of my Ravi at the show? I worry about him, you know.”

“Hyung,” Ravi started complaining. “You aren’t my mother, I can take care of myself. You worry about me more than my actual mother does.”

“I wish I was your actual mother. Then, maybe, you would listen to me some more.” There was a pause while all three of them thought about what Hakyeon had just said. He quickly shook his head. “Ignore me. Please forget I said that.” He turned toward Taekwoon once more and smiled at him. “I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this, but I just watched the kids eat so much food and I’ve been waiting for hours to eat. Let’s start over,” he quickly amended. “My name is Hakyeon, and you are Taekwoon. How did you and Ravi become friends? Are you another contestant?”

Taekwoon was still flustered at the other man, but he quickly got over it, intent on making a good first impression. “Um, no, Hakyeon. I’m actually a cameraman on the show. Ravi has decided to become my friend for some reason.”

When Taekwoon muttered the word cameraman, Hakyeon’s narrowed eyes immediately sought out Ravi before he smirked at him. “Oh really, Taekwoon. You’re a cameraman?” Ravi’s eyes pleaded for Hakyeon to stop talking about it, worried he would bring up what happened in the bathroom. Taekwoon did not seem to notice this exchange and just nodded at Hakyeon’s question. Ravi tried to change the subject.

“Actually, Taekwoon-hyung also composes. He’s studying composing at university.” Taekwoon kicked his shin under the table at that.

Hakyeon turned back to him. “Are you, Taekwoon-ie? You’ll have to show me sometime. I love listening to what our Wonshik creates. Now, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

The conversation continued in that manner, only pausing when the food came. Ravi tried to talk as much as possible about the filming earlier that day as possible to give Taekwoon a break from Hakyeon’s questions. Luckily it worked, and Hakyeon was happy to hear about how the show was going.

“He also has an adorable nephew, hyung. Seriously, Minyool is really cute.” Ravi knew one of Hakyeon’s favorite things was babies, especially cute ones. That was something that Hakyeon and Taekwoon had in common.

“Do you really, Taekwoon? Show me a picture please! Do you only have one nephew? I have five nephews and nieces,” Hakyeon said, excited to see the picture of the baby.

“Yeah, so far, he’s my only nephew,” Taekwoon said, excited about the change in subject. He started smiling as he got out his phone. “I have three older sisters, but only two of them are married, and only my oldest one has a son. But he’s so perfect.” He gave his phone to Hakyeon after pulling up the pictures of his nephew.

Hakyeon flipped through the phone and stared at the pictures, a small smile on his face. “He’s really cute! Not as cute as my nephews and nieces, but he’s very pretty. Actually,” he said as he frowned at the picture on the tiny screen, then glanced up at Taekwoon’s face, “He has your chubby cheeks. You both look really cute in the picture of the two of you.”

Taekwoon immediately flushed at the compliment, unsure of what to say next. “Wonhik, I can definitely see why you are friends with him. He’s really cute when he’s embarrassed.” That earned Hakyeon a hit from Ravi, who was also starting to color in embarrassment. Taekwoon hid his face in his hands.

“Please stop,” he said to Hakyeon, who shut his mouth with a smile.

They left the restaurant a short while later after Hakyeon paid the bill “as thanks for taking care of my Wonshik.” Taekwoon walked back with the two part-way to their dorm, stopping when they reached the subway station.

“I’m going to go now,” Taekwoon said, gesturing towards the station entrance. “It was nice meeting you, Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon frowned at him. “You aren’t coming back with us?” Taekwoon just shook his head, and gestured again.

“No, I think I should get home. I want to play with Minyool before he goes to bed. Besides, Ravi looks tired. He should get some sleep.”

Ravi smiled at him. “Thanks, Taekwoon-hyung. You go have fun with your nephew. Thanks for eating dinner with us.”

Taekwoon bowed at them and gave a slight wave as he went down the stairs to enter the subway station. The other two watched him disappear before Hakyeon turned to Ravi and slapped his bicep. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a faux angry tone.

“Tell you what?” Ravi asked, trying not to bring up the subject himself.

“That you made friends with bathroom boy!” Hakyeon exclaimed. “When did you even have time to apologize to him? You’ve either been filming or been at your studio constantly,” he said in a slightly hurt tone. He expected that Wonshik would have told him if something happened, but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“Honestly hyung, I’ve just been busy so I haven’t really had a chance to tell you,” Ravi started explaining. “He came to the company to film about a week ago, and I invited him out for coffee after we finished. We chatted a little, and then I invited him back to the studio. He’s…really nice. And he helped me with a song I’ve been struggling with for months. He’s honestly so smart when it comes to composing and we worked so well together and…why are you giving me that look?” he asked Hakyeon.

Hakyeon was giving him a knowing smile. “Oh nothing, Wonshik. You’ll figure it out eventually. I’m glad you made a friend. Taekwoon seems like a nice person. You need calm in your life, and he’s perfect.”

_Figure what out eventually?_ Ravi asked himself, but he didn’t want to say it out loud. When the two arrived at the dorm, they quickly separated so Ravi could wash up and get ready for bed. After he got out of the shower, he texted Taekwoon.

**Wonshik: I’m sorry about Hakyeon-hyung. I hope he didn’t scare you off.**

He only had to wait two minutes before he got a reply.

**Taekwoon: I don’t mind. He was a little much, but it’s obvious he cares for you. He’s a very nice person. I like him.**

**Wonshik: You are saying that now, but if you ever hang out with him for a period of time, he gets tiring.**

**Taekwoon: I don’t think you actually believe that. You care about him just as much as he cares about you.**

Ravi took a while to send the next text, because what Taekwoon just said was true. He loved Hakyeon and the rest of the Vixx members a lot. He would never grow tired of them.

**Wonshik: You’re right. I would be lost without him. Just don’t tell him I said that.**

**Taekwoon: I promise.**

Ravi went onto his bed and put in his earphones in order to listen to some calming music to help lull him to sleep. After a couple of songs, he looked at his phone and noticed that Taekwoon had sent another message. Ravi opened it and found a picture of Taekwoon laying on his own bed, with his nephew curled up on his chest, fingers in his mouth. He grinned like a fool for a minute before he saved the picture to his phone, set an alarm to wake him up in the morning, then went to sleep.

\--

The next morning they started filming at 10:00am. The filming only lasted 7 hours, and so Ravi, and the rest of the contestants, were able to go back to their studios and get started on the next composition. They competed in several rounds of games to determine who would pick their song they would remake first, and Ravi ended up coming in fourth. The only difficulty for him was that he was very unfamiliar with most of the songs.

“Honestly,” Minsook told him, “Just pick one. It’s probably better if you don’t know the song well anyway, that way you don’t have it set in your head what it should sound like.”

Ravi ended up picking “My Love is Distant” by the Key Boys, which was recorded in 1969. He had never heard the song before, but hearing the synth and the easy beat of the song, he knew exactly what he wanted to do with it.

Everyone had to stick around until the end of filming, so Ravi had a period of three and a half hours where he just watched everyone else playing games. The cameras would occasionally pan to the people watching for their reactions, so Ravi half watched the games while composing the song in his head. It seemed like everyone was doing the same thing.

Minsook ended up joining Ravi about two hours before the end of the shoot, and the two of them chatted awhile about their songs, all while laughing and clapping when something funny happened with the remaining contestants. By the time filming ended, everyone was itching to go to their studios and work.

“I’ll see you in a few days for the next day of filming, Ravi,” Minsook said as he waved goodbye. Ravi smiled and waved at him before calling his manager. His manager was sitting in a coffee shop close by the filming location, so Ravi watched the crew pack up their equipment while he waited for his manager to bring the car.

Taekwoon walked up to him after he packed up the video equipment and gave a small smile. “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey,” Ravi said back, returning the smile. The two of them smiled at each other awkwardly for about ten seconds before Ravi got a call from his manager. “That’s my manager,” he said, gesturing to his phone. “I think I need to go.”

Taekwoon just nodded. “Good luck with your next song,” he said, clapping a hand on his shoulder before following the rest of the crew to put his equipment away. Ravi stared at his back while he answered his phone and headed out of the building to meet his manager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the last one before the epilogue. A lot happens in that chapter, and it is quite a bit longer than this one. We will also finally get some Wontaek.
> 
> As always, you can find me on tumblr at leothevixxn, or on my writing blog at tuberc-leo-fics.


	4. Chapter 4

The weeks passed by and Ravi was still in the competition. He knew he wasn’t the best, he would point out to anyone who asked that Minsook was at least twice as talented as himself, but he gained a few fans and was producing good music every week. He enjoyed the challenge and the pressure of producing something good in a small amount of time, but it meant that he was constantly working, and he seldom saw his Vixx members.

But Ravi made new friends. He enjoyed the longer filming days because that meant that he could spend time eating and chatting with Minsook, Taekwoon, and Kiseop. The four of them were quick to become friends, and because two of them were crew members, and Minsook was just so talented and likeable, there were no feelings of envy that passed through them at how the others were doing in competition.

Ravi’s friendship with Taekwoon was also starting to bloom. On days when Ravi would spend 20 hours composing in his studio, he found strength in the pictures of Minyool, or Taekwoon himself that the man sent. Ravi found it adorable, and would save the pictures on his phone to look at later as inspiration or encouragement. Taekwoon and Minyool were his staunchest supporters, besides the Vixx members. Hakyeon-hyung would kill him if Ravi didn’t say that he was his best supporter.

After the fifth elimination day, when the competitors were cut down to half of when they started, there was a small break in the schedule. Everyone remaining, including the crew, got three stress-free days off in order to recuperate and recharge after the grueling month plus of filming.

“Hey everyone,” Kiseop announced after the cameras stopped filming and everyone was packing up, ready to go home. “The crew is going to go play some futsal tomorrow at Yeongdeungpo Park at 3:00pm. If anyone wants to join us, you can come and let off some steam.”

A few people begged off, saying that they were going to spend time with their families, or that they weren’t good at futsal, but Ravi went up to talk to Kiseop, Minsook following behind him.

“Hey, you two,” Kiseop said as they approached, “Do you want to join us tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Ravi said. “I haven’t been able to play in so long. None of my friends can play. Besides, I need a break. No matter how much I love music, spending 24 hours a day writing it can be tiring.” Minsook nodded in agreement.

“Well, one of you needs to convince Taekwoon to come,” Kiseop continued, scratching at his neck. “I want my team to win, but we kind of need him.”

Both Minsook and Ravi’s eyes opened wider at the comment. “Is he good?” Minsook asked, a little surprised that their quiet friend could play soccer.

Kiseop nodded vigorously. “Yeah,” he said, “He’s really good. He used to be on the national youth soccer team back in the day.”

Ravi was surprised and quickly moved his head around the room, trying to find his friend. He found him in a corner, bags packed and his phone out. Ravi turned back to Minsook and Kiseop and pointed to him. “I’m going to go and try to convince him.” They waved him off and Ravi approached Taekwoon.

“Hyung,” he said when he was a few feet away. Taekwoon looked up from his phone and gave a small smile. “I came over here to ask if you were coming to play futsal with us tomorrow.”

Taekwoon shook his head before gesturing to his phone. “My sister wants some time with her husband. I was just volunteering to watch Minyool-ie the next couple of days.”

Ravi’s smile dropped and he looked sad. “I know you miss your nephew, but the guys are all going to be there!” Ravi then leaned in closer and dropped his voice low. “Besides, I heard from Kiseop-hyung that you are very good.”

Taekwoon flushed. “I’m okay,” he said, looking indecisive. “I guess I could ask my mom to watch him for a few hours tomorrow.”

Ravi smiled brightly at him. “Yes, please, hyung. It will be nice to hang out outside of filming. We’ve both been so busy recently that it’s difficult to find the time to just see each other.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly while Ravi was talking and came to a decision. “Okay, I’ll come and play. I actually do miss playing soccer. It’s been a while.”

“Great, hyung,” Ravi said, clasping his hands together. “Let me go tell Kiseop-hyung the good news. We are so going to win tomorrow.” He turned and walked away, smiling when he heard a small laugh coming from Taekwoon.

\--

When Ravi got home that evening, the other members were also there, having made their way back from the company an hour earlier. Ravi was glad to see them, especially since they hadn’t had a chance to sit down and really talk to each other in weeks.

There was a chorus of “Wonshik-ah” as he walked through the door, and one “Wonshik-hyung.”

Hongbin got up from his seat and walked over as Ravi was taking off his shoes before grabbing him in a head lock. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” he said before letting go. “Come sit with us and tell us about what’s been happening.”

So Ravi told them about the competition, how he has been receiving mostly compliments from the judges, and some criticism. The members raised a stink at that. “How can they say bad things about my Ravi’s songs?” Hakyeon asked while the other members rolled their eyes.

“No, but seriously, guys,” Ravi said, “Everyone there is so talented. I’ve made it pretty far, but I don’t think I’ll last much longer. One of my friends, Minsook-hyung, is so talented. I have a feeling he’s going to win it all. His brain is amazing.”

“Well, your brain is pretty amazing too,” Hakyeon said in response to that. The other members nodded in agreement. “You write a lot of songs for Vixx that are well loved. No matter what happens, we are proud of you.”

“Aww,” Jaehwan and Hongbin said in chorus. “Don’t cry, mother.” Ravi and Hyuk laughed at that while Hakyeon lashed out.

“Yah,” he said, “Who’s crying? You’ll start crying soon. Come over here,” he gestured, but they just stuck out their tongues and Hakyeon huffed, giving up.

“What time is your filming tomorrow?” Hakyeon asked, changing the subject.

Ravi rung his hands nervously, unsure how to bring up the topic. “Actually, um, they are giving us a break for a couple of days.”

“That’s great!” Hakyeon said, clapping his hands together once. “Let’s do something together then. It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. Oh, I know! Let’s eat meat.”

Ravi dropped his gaze. “It will have to be later in the day, hyung. I sort of, um, have other plans in the afternoon.”

All of them turned their heads. Hakyeon crossed his arms, a little angry at the news. “And who’s more important than us?” Jaehwan nodded too, copying Hakyeon’s pose, but he was more curious than angry.

“I was just going to play soccer with some of the crew from the show. Minsook, Kiseop, and Taekwoon will all be there-”

“Oh, that’s fine then,” Hakyeon said, waving it off. Everyone turned to him in surprise.

“You’re giving up quite easily,” Ravi noted, a little confused. Everyone else nodded. Usually Hakyeon would talk forever in order to get a point across, especially if he was disappointed in them for some reason.

“Well, if Taekwoon-ie’s going to be there, then I won’t worry about it. Just go have some fun,” Hakyeon said. Everyone was still confused.

_Why is it only okay if Taekwoon-hyung’s going to be there?_ Ravi asked himself.

“Who’s Taekwoon?” Hyuk and Ken asked at the same time, shifting their gaze from Hakyeon to Ravi.

“That’s Taekwoon-hyung to you brats,” Hakyeon said, scolding them. “He’s one of Wonshik’s adorable new friends. Seriously, Taekwoon is so cute. He’s like a toddler. Or a cat.”

Ravi scoffed. “He would definitely not appreciate you saying that,” he said, glaring at Hakyeon. Hakyeon just grinned at him and shrugged his shoulders, turning his head away.

“Why haven’t we heard of him, then?” Jaehwan asked the two of them.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Ravi started. “The only reason Hakyeon knows him is because he invited himself to dinner with us one night.” Everyone but Hakyeon laughed, knowing exactly what the situation was like. Hakyeon was an overbearing parent to all of them and often pushed his way into events that didn’t originally include him.

“Wait a second,” Ravi said as he took out his phone. “I have a picture.”

“You keep a picture of him on your phone?” Hongbin asked in a deadpan tone. Ravi narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything, just passing his phone over to show them a picture.

They looked at the picture on his phone and passed it around. The phone eventually ended with Hyuk who started scrolling through Ravi’s other pictures. “Seriously, hyung. Literally the last 18 pictures you saved on your phone are either of your friend, a baby, or your friend with the baby. Are you two dating or someth-ARgh,” Hyuk was cut off as Hakyeon kicked him in the shin. He glared at the youngest and shook his head vigorously. This only made the other members more curious.

Ravi frowned and shook his head as he took the phone back from the youngest member. “No, we’re just friends. He’s honestly a really great person and a really talented composer. He lives with his nephew, so to cheer me up when I’m working he’ll send me pictures.” By this point everyone was exchanging glances, clearly not believing what Ravi was saying. He noticed the glances.

“It’s true! Honestly, we are just good friends. And Minyool is really cute. We only get to talk to each other during lunch breaks because we are both so busy, so it’s nice to – I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to you,” Ravi said and just gave up.

The members kept teasing him, but after a while Hakyeon just told everyone to shut up and leave him alone. Later that night, when Ravi was in bed early for the first night in weeks, he started thinking about what everyone said.

_Do I like him like that?_ he asked himself, seriously thinking hard about all their interactions in the past. Even though he intended to go to bed early that night, he was kept up thinking about his feelings for a long time.

\--

“Mom,” Taekwoon said as he rounded the couch, Minyool in his arms, “I need to go now. Are you sure you’re okay to watch Minyool-ie?”

His mother playfully glared at him and muted the tv before reaching up her arms to take her grandson. “Of course I am. I am not too old to watch one baby. Go out and have some fun,” she shooed him away, hugging Minyool to her chest.

Taekwoon’s heart clenched, watching his mother hold the baby before he nodded to himself and returned to his room to grab his soccer gear. He dug it out from where it was buried under some clothes and other random things in the closet before swinging the bag over his shoulder and heading out to put on his shoes.

“Bye, mom,” he said loudly as he opened the door and quickly walked out.

It only took about 5 minutes to walk from his home to the nearest station, but the ride from the station to the park took nearly an hour. He had to switch trains twice, but he made it about ten minutes before they would start playing. He gave a small wave when he noticed that Minsook and Kiseop were already there, stretching and kicking the ball around with a few other players. Ravi was nowhere in sight.

“Well, well,” Kiseop said, “I’m glad you are joining us. I think we’re going to have small teams today. Only five people each, so that means no substitutions. But I call you for my team.” Taekwoon rolled his eyes at him. Kiseop just smiled back.

Taekwoon stretched with his two friends, making small talk while they waited for the other players to show up. Ravi came jogging to them, completely out of breath about five minutes after 3:00.

“You’re late,” Minsook said, playfully kicking out to Ravi as he neared them. “We almost had a losing team.”

“Sorry,” Ravi panted. “I got off the train a stop too early. It was easier to just run.”

“Well,” Kiseop said, shaking his arms out. “We are about to start. You need time to catch your breath?” Ravi nodded.

“Here,” Taekwoon said, passing something to Ravi. “Take some of my water. Calm yourself down so we can start playing.” Ravi nodded gratefully and grabbed the bottle, raising it up and pouring some into his mouth.

Taekwoon frowned at that. “I just washed it, and I’m not sick or anything. Just drink from the bottle directly. It’s easier that way.” Ravi nodded a little slower after that and put his lips on the bottle, slowly sipping some water from Taekwoon’s bottle. He gave it back after a minute, having drank about a quarter of the water. He saw Taekwoon also take a quick sip before putting it away. The words _indirect kiss_ floated through his mind before he quickly shook that away. Taekwoon probably wasn’t thinking when he drank from the same bottle.

The game started and Ravi only got more distracted by Taekwoon. The only time Ravi had ever seen him this passionate and alive was when they were together in his studio, composing music together. But seeing Taekwoon out on the field, completely dominating, laughing and carefree, Ravi felt something grip tight at his chest, and his breath caught.

_He looks…_ he paused, unsure about the way Taekwoon looked. He watched the other man run around, limbs long and loose, telling the others on the team how to move, using tricks to keep the ball in his possession. He was….

_Beautiful. He’s stunning,_ Ravi finally decided, slowing into a jog. He watched Taekwoon play for a few more minutes and just felt completely run over by his thoughts. Maybe it was because his members were joking the night before about the two of them dating, but suddenly that idea didn’t seem like an improbability; it became a big possibility.

Ravi lost himself in his thoughts and just ran through the motions for the rest of the game. By the time it was over, everyone was sweaty and red, and they all moved themselves off the turf court to cool down. Ravi watched Taekwoon walk out of the fence, sweeping his messy locks out of his eyes, sweat making them paste to his forehead. Ravi mimicked his movement and brushed his bangs off his face.

Everyone chatted for around half an hour, still tired and happy from the game. Slowly people started to leave, waving goodbye, faces no longer red and sweaty. The final four people sitting were Taekwoon, Ravi, Minsook, and Kiseop.

“Well,” Minsook said, grinning. He looked exhausted, but could still be smiling. “That was a great game. Good job, Taekwoon.” Taekwoon shook his head and flushed a little. “Seriously, it was,” he continued, “But now I should head home. I need to eat something.” Minsook stood up, shaking out his legs as he did so.

Kiseop followed, slowly standing up as he stretched out his muscles. “Thanks for showing up, you two. I had fun.” They waved and Minsook and Kiseop wandered off, presumably to go back home. Ravi felt the tightness return to his chest as he turned to face Taekwoon. Their eyes made contact with each other and Ravi flushed before inhaling a quick breath.

“Um,” Ravi started, looking at Taekwoon, “can I tell you something?” Taekwoon didn’t say anything, but he nodded his head with a curious smile on his lips.

“Actually, I’ve been trying to figure something out,” Ravi continued, “and it was difficult to work through all my thoughts, but I kind of solidified it all today watching you play futsal.” Taekwoon gave a small hum while Ravi paused to breathe.

“I, um, like you,” Ravi said. He saw Taekwoon’s eyes widen slightly. “You looked passionate out there playing, and somehow I found that I liked that passion you have, when playing futsal or composing music. Found that I,” Ravi breathed again, “that I like you. A lot.” He stopped.

Taekwoon stared at him for a few moments, looking stunned. He opened his mouth a few times before closing it again. Ravi waited for him to process what he said.

“Ravi-ah,” he started, gathering himself. He looked calm, but his eyes were wide open, stinging with the wind. “I can’t accept this. Or you right now.”

Ravi felt his heart squeeze tighter. He closed his eyes. Something must have looked broken on his face because Taekwoon reached out and touched his knee before continuing. “I like my job,” he stated, “and I want to keep it. Somehow, it seems wrong to be with someone who is on the show I’m filming. But I do,” he said, voice dropping low, “I do want to be with you. I, just, maybe not now,” a pause, “can you wait until this is over?”

They both stared into each other’s eyes, breathing in sync as they processed what had just been said. Slowly, Ravi nodded, giving a watery smile.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “I can do that.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Taekwoon spoke again. “We’re still friends, though. I don’t think I can give that up.”

Ravi chuckled. “No,” he said, “I don’t think I can give you up either.”

They sat in silence for a while longer, content in each other’s presence, before walking out of the park together and heading their separate ways.

\--

Ravi lasted one more week before he was off the show. He didn’t feel sad about it and was actually quite proud that he made it to the top 8 contestants. However, everyone still remaining in the show was a phenomenal composer, and Ravi knew that he wasn’t there yet. He still had time to grow.

But that meant that he couldn’t see his new friends. He couldn’t see Taekwoon and eat lunch with him and talk to him. Kiseop and Minsook were still busy too. Ravi found himself spending just as much time in his studio when he was off the show as he did when he was still participating to fill the lonely space leaving the show brought out. Hanging out with his members could only do so much.

One night, when Ravi was feeling especially lonely after locking himself into his studio for 8 hours, he decided to text Taekwoon. The Vixx members had returned home several hours earlier, and Ravi was stuck on a song and didn’t know how to continue. Nothing about the composition was making sense.

**Wonshik: Hyung, are you busy right now?**

He put his phone down on his desk and went out of his studio for a quick bathroom break. When he returned several minutes later, he noticed that the face of his phone was lit up. He smiled when he saw that Taekwoon had texted him back.

**Taekwoon: Not right now. Why?**

**Wonshik: Do you want to come over to the studio? I would love your help on a song I’m working on…**

**Taekwoon: Sure. I’ll be there in an hour.**

**Wonshik: Great. Text me when you’re outside!**

Ravi worked at tweaking the song, but he was frustrated after another half an hour, so he decided to just play phone games while he waited for Taekwoon. It had been several weeks since they played futsal together and Ravi confessed his interest in Taekwoon, and the two of them had not been alone since that moment. But Ravi wasn’t nervous. They were comfortable around each other, and when he was still on the show, they would eat together and chat during breaks. The confession seemed to only bring them even closer together as friends.

After an hour, Ravi received the text signaling that Taekwoon was waiting outside, and he bounded up the stairs, skipping every other one as he raced to get to the door as soon as possible. When he opened it and saw Taekwoon’s face, Ravi instantly smiled at him and grabbed his hand before dragging him inside.

“I’ve missed you,” Ravi said as they walked together to the basement level of the building. Taekwoon squeezed his hand slightly before letting go, a small sign of acknowledgement.

“I missed you too,” he said in a quiet voice. “The show isn’t the same without you.”

That sentence pulled at Ravi’s heart, but he shrugged it off. He was not upset with being off the show, but he did miss seeing Taekwoon often.

“What have you been working on?” Taekwoon asked him, voice curious as they settled into the chairs in front of the computer in Ravi’s studio.

Ravi sighed before speaking up. “We are planning a comeback in a month and a half, and the company asked me to finish several songs for the album. I have a nice dance track that I’ve been working on for a while, and that will be ready soon, but for some reason, the ballad just isn’t working.”

Taekwoon hummed and gestured towards the computer. “Play me what you have.”

They sat together, not talking while they listened to the half-finished piece. Taekwoon frowned when the notes faded out and scratched at his neck. He was silent for ten more seconds, and Ravi watched his face, interested to know what his friend thought of the piece.

“It’s a good start,” Taekwoon said finally, frown still on his face, his brow furrowed.

“But?” Ravi prompted, staring at his friend.

“But,” Taekwoon answered, “I think you are trying to do too much with this piece. You are making it more complicated than it has to be. Your choice of instruments also needs to be tweaked.”

Ravi nodded and motioned for him to continue, knowing the other man had more to say on the subject.

“A ballad doesn’t need to be complicated in terms of how much is happening sound-wise, but the complicated part is making the pieces of the whole sound effortless.” He gestured to the screen, pointing out the twenty five different layers of the song. “This is too complicated. The complicated part should be in the music, not the sounds. Do you understand?”

Ravi nodded. “What do you suggest we do?”

“You have a good chord progression, and the melody sounds nice, but we need to un-clump the rest of this. Make it sound cleaner.”

Ravi grunted and the two of them began to work. Ravi focused on the beat of the song and the format of it while Taekwoon worked on the melody and the music. They got rid of some of the backtracks by replacing it with piano, which Taekwoon volunteered to play.

When both of them were yawning and their eyes drooping, Ravi tore his eyes away from the glowing of the computer screen and looked at the time on his phone. His eyes widened.

“Taekwoon-hyung,” he said, poking him on the side of the arm a few times, “We’ve been working here together for 8 hours. It’s five in the morning.”

Taekwoon blinked, not registering what Ravi said in his tired state. After a few seconds, his eyes widened. “What?” he gasped, confused as to how that much time passed. “I should go home.”

“Do you work later today?” Ravi asked, worried for his friend. Taekwoon shook his head no. “Stay here then, and get some sleep. If you want, we can work some more after we get some rest.”

Taekwoon yawned again, jaw cracking and tears of exhaustion prickling at his eyes. “Is that okay? Where would I sleep?” Ravi hadn’t thought that far.

“I usually sleep on my foldaway bed, but it’s a little small for two people. You can sleep on that, and I can go sleep on a couch upstairs,” Ravi suggested.

Taekwoon shook his head. “I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in your company building when you will be somewhere else.”

Ravi hummed to show that he understood and stroked at his neck as he tried to think of a solution with his tired brain.

“There’s an office upstairs with several couches. We can both sleep there. That way you won’t be alone in a strange place.”

Taekwoon yawned again, face screwing up, before he nodded. His eyes started drooping as he stood up out of the chair he had been sitting in for 8 hours and had to catch his balance as he almost toppled over. Ravi reached out a hand to steady him.

“Careful, hyung. Let’s try not to kill ourselves before we make it upstairs. Come on,” Ravi said, holding out his hand for Taekwoon to grab, “I have some toiletries. Let’s quickly wash up and then go to sleep.”

They made their way to the bathroom and stood side by side at the sink. Ravi quickly brushed his teeth, not being as thorough as he could be, while Taekwoon washed his face and put on lotion.

“Sorry, I don’t have an extra toothbrush. You could just use mine though,” Ravi said. “I promise I’m not sick.”

Taekwoon narrowed his eyes, but before he could say anything he was caught in a yawn that lasted ten seconds. “Yeah. Thanks,” he finally replied, speaking softly.

When they finished washing up, they walked to the office with the couches a couple floors above the bathroom. Taekwoon immediately threw himself onto one of them, face down, long limbs hanging off the edge. Ravi smiled at the sight and threw a blanket over him before he took the other couch and laid down. He could hear the soft sound of Taekwoon snoring before he also drifted off, joined him in sleep.

\--

Ravi woke up at 10:30 to the sound of a phone ringing. In his dazed state, he tried to answer the call on his phone. It took him about 10 seconds of failing to answer the phone to realize that the ringing was coming from Taekwoon’s phone.

“Taekwoon-hyung,” Ravi said as he looked at the still sleeping man. “Hyung, your phone.” He still didn’t stir, so Ravi grabbed his phone and looked to see that Taekwoon’s mom was calling. He hesitated a few more seconds before he answered the phone.

“Hello?” he asked, voice even deeper than normal because of his lack of sleep.

“Oh?” he heard from the other end of the call, “This isn’t my son. May I ask who this is?”

“Hello, Taekwoon’s mother. I’m sorry for picking up your son’s phone, but he’s still sleeping and wouldn’t wake up.”

He heard a sigh coming from Taekwoon’s mother. “That’s alright, dear. May I ask your name?”

“Ah, sorry, mother. My name is Kim Wonshik. I’m a friend of your son. We didn’t notice the time passing and went to bed very late.”

“That’s what I figured,” she replied, sounding relieved. “I was worried when he wasn’t in his room this morning.”

“Ah, yes,” Ravi replied, “We really did lose track of time.”

“That’s okay,” she said, “Will you tell him I called? Also, tell him he doesn’t need to rush home. Everything’s fine. He should have fun on his day off.”

Ravi nodded before he remembered he was on the phone, then rubbed at his eyes as he answered her. “Of course, mother. I’ll let him know.”

“Thank you, Wonshik,” she said, then hung up the phone.

Ravi put the phone back on the table and kept rubbing at his eyes, trying to wake himself up. He stood up to stretch out his arms and ended up stretching for a few minutes to loosen his body after sleeping on the couch that was too small for his long body. He turned back around and was startled to see Taekwoon’s eyes open and staring at him.

“You up?” he asked unnecessarily, and he got a still sleepy nod in return. They smiled at each other for a few seconds before Taekwoon sat up on the couch and stretched his arms over his head. He yawned once, but afterwards seemed wide awake.

“Your mom called a few minutes ago,” Ravi said, motioning to the phone on the table. “I talked to her and told her you were okay. You might want to call her sometime today, but she told you to have some fun.” Taekwoon nodded and grabbed his phone, intent on texting his mother.

The two of them wandered back downstairs and passed a few people on the way. Ravi greeted all of them with a bow and a few words. They eventually made it back to Ravi’s studio and paused outside the door.

“I have some clothes that I keep here just in case something like this happens. So you want to borrow something?” Ravi asked Taekwoon, who gave a small grunt in agreement.

“Okay, here, pick something you like, then let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.”

It took the two of them 20 minutes to finish getting ready and wash up, then they headed out to a nearby restaurant to eat some food. 45 minutes later, they were back in the studio to work on the song.

They finished everything but the lyrics by 4:00, and decided to take a break.

“You know, you don’t have to stay for this part,” Ravi said, “It will be pretty boring just watching me write the lyrics to the song.”

Taekwoon shook his head in disagreement. “That’s not true. I love to watch your creative process. Besides, I need to see the finished product.”

“I won’t have anyone to record the demo until tomorrow, though. Ken-hyung is busy with a schedule today,” Ravi said, a little disappointed they couldn’t finish the song today.

There was a long pause where Ravi turned his head to stare at Taekwoon, who was scratching at his neck, eyes not really seeing what was in front of him.

“If…if you really need someone, I-I could record it for you,” Taekwoon finally said, before looking at Ravi. “I’m a decent singer. If you don’t like it, you can ask Ken to record it again tomorrow.”

Ravi nodded slowly, a little unsure. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his friend, but he had never heard him sing before.

“Alright,” he said, coming to an agreement in his own head. “I still need to write the lyrics, but I’m starting to have an idea in my head. Do you mind just sitting here and waiting until I’m finished?”

Taekwoon shook his head. “I’m going to go out in the hall and call my mom, tell her I’ll be here for a while longer. I’ll just play on my phone out there.” He stood up and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, giving a slight wave to Ravi as he opened the door to the studio and stepped outside.

_Right,_ Ravi told himself. _Let’s do this._

Writing the lyrics were not difficult. It took him almost no time to finish, as he thought about Taekwoon and their friendship. He titled the song _Taekwoon’s Love Song_ in his head, but knew that that title was impossible. Instead, on the top of his page of lyrics, he wrote _Forever._

He called Taekwoon back into the room after about 45 minutes of writing and perfecting the lyrics, double checking to make sure that they fit with the beat of the song.

“That was quick,” Taekwoon said as he entered the room. “I had planned on staying out there for a longer period of time.”

Ravi waved a hand vaguely. “I had a lot of inspiration. It practically wrote itself.” Ravi paused before shoving his notebook into Taekwoon’s hands. “Here. Read.”

It was silent for a minute while Taekwoon read the lyrics, murmuring quietly to himself as he did so. When he finished, he took a breath before looking into Ravi’s eyes. “Ravi, these are really good. I love it.”

Ravi grinned back at him shyly, ringing his hands together. “You really think so?” he asked.

Taekwoon nodded and traced the words on the page with his fingers. “Yeah. They’re beautiful. I…” he paused for a second before continuing. “I really want to sing this.”

“Okay.”

While Ravi set up the equipment to record the demo, Taekwoon ran his eyes over the words again and again. The lyrics were very poetic, and Taekwoon thought that they were Ravi’s best lyrics yet. The song was about a long lasting love, of being friends with that person forever, and never letting them go.

_I want that,_ Taekwoon thought, before glancing up at Ravi who was still moving his equipment around. _I want that kind of love._

“Here, hyung,” Ravi said, pushing a microphone in front of him. “This will be temporary so we can work everything out, then let’s move upstairs to record it in the booth.” Taekwoon nodded in understanding.

When Taekwoon sang the first notes of the song, Ravi felt his heart clench in pain. After the first strain, they stopped recording and Ravi turned to him, speaking with a hoarse voice, “Hyung. You are…really good. I-I love your voice.”

Taekwoon flushed, and murmured under his breath indecipherably, before saying a little bit louder, “Stop.”

Ravi grinned, but still felt a kind of pain in his chest. “Whatever you say.”

They worked out the logistics of the song for around half an hour before they moved to the recording booth to record the actual guide that Vixx would listen to before recording their own version.

“Just sing it all in one go, then we’ll see what we need to work on,” Ravi said from outside the booth. He got a nod and a thumbs up from Taekwoon, who was staring at the sheet of lyrics in his hand.

After the first recording, Ravi sat back in his seat, palms sweating as he stared down at the table in front of him. Taekwoon was a really good singer, and his voice made Ravi feel butterflies in his stomach. He caught his breath and calmed himself down before he glanced up at Taekwoon, who was gesturing at him, a worried look on his face.

“Sorry,” Ravi said as he pressed the button that allowed them to talk to each other through the separating glass.

“Was that okay?” Taekwoon asked, frown on his face.

“Ye-” he clears his throat, “Yeah, it was great, hyung. Honestly. Come out here and let’s listen to it and figure out what needs to be changed together.”

Taekwoon took off his headphones and left the booth before he joined Ravi at the table. They listened in silence, with Ravi making occasional notes on his lyrics paper.

“Okay,” Ravi said, pushing himself back into producer mode. “I think there needs to be more tension in this area,” he said, gesturing at the page, “And you should back off a little here.” Taekwoon nodded in understanding and made notes on his own sheet as they talked through what needed to be changed.

The second and third time Taekwoon recorded the demo, Ravi forced himself to stay professional, and corrected Taekwoon to make the voice sound as close to what he wanted as possible. But it was over too soon for Ravi, and when Taekwoon went home for the night, Ravi felt himself collapse, emotionally drained from everything that happened the past two days.

When he was back in the dorm, he was glad to see Hakyeon laying on the couch, watching tv by himself. He immediately toed off his shoes and made his way over to his hyung, before flopping on the floor below him.

“I’m completely fucked,” Ravi mumbled into his arms as he laid on his belly. He heard a sigh coming from Hakyeon.

“What happened, Wonshik-ie?” Hakyeon asked, arm dangling down to play with his hair.

“I’ve fallen for him completely, hyung. I don’t know what to do.”

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon asked. Ravi nodded into his arms. “It will all work out, Wonshik. You just need time.” He continued stroking his hair and Ravi felt a few tears prickle at the corner of his eyes, but he wiped them away with the sleeve of his shirt. He fell asleep five minutes later, and only woke up three hours later to the sound of hushed whispers coming from the kitchen.

\--

Two weeks later, Ravi got a call at 11pm while he was working in his studio. He didn’t even look at who it was before he picked it up, assuming one of the members was calling.

“Hello?” he said, but was surprised to hear a lot of noise in the background.

“Ravi!” a familiar voice said. Ravi moved his phone away from his ear to check the caller ID.

“Minsook-hyung! Where are you? It’s so loud,” he said, shouting a little to be heard.

“Ravi Ravi! Guess what? I won!” he shouted. There were cheers coming from the phone now, and the sound of clapping. Ravi immediately smiled and felt happiness creep into his body.

“Congrats, hyung! I’m so unbelievably happy for you,” Ravi said. “I’m guessing you’re celebrating?”

“Hell yeah, Ravi. Come join us! Everyone’s here having a good time. I want to celebrate with you.”

Ravi felt grateful that he met Minsook. He was such a good person, and really cared about everyone he got close too. Ravi didn’t feel jealous at all that Minsook won the competition.

“Of course I’ll come, hyung. Where are you?”

After he received the details of the bar Minsook, the crew, and his friends were celebrating in, Ravi texted Hakyeon to let him know where he was going, then found a taxi.

The bar was loud even from the outside, and Ravi could have sworn that he heard Minsook laughing above all the noise. When he stepped inside, he could feel the heat from all the bodies crammed in the room. He immediately spotted Minsook standing in the middle of everything, chatting with ten different people. Ravi walked over to him, grinning wide.

“Congrats, hyung,” he said when he was close enough. Minsook swung around to face him, a drink in his hand, and walked the few steps to embrace Ravi.

“I’m so glad you came,” Minsook stated, slurring his words a little. “Welcome to my party,” he said as he swung an arm, gesturing to everyone in the bar.

“I knew you could do it,” Ravi said, placing a hand on Minsook’s upper arm. “You really deserve this.”

Minsook nodded. “Damn right I do,” he said, and Ravi laughed. “I worked my ass off on that show. I need a break.”

“You say that now, but you are going to be back in the studio soon. It’s difficult to just stop composing,” Ravi said.

“Very true,” Minsook said and hugged Ravi one last time, grinning widely before he stepped away. “You know, I think Taekwoon is holed up in a corner somewhere, trying to get away from all this craziness. You should go find him.”

Ravi’s eyes widened. “He’s actually here?”

Minsook nodded. “Yeah, I dragged him here. I couldn’t let him escape. I know he probably hates this, though.”

“You’re right,” Ravi said as he craned his neck, trying to find Taekwoon.

“Go find him,” Minsook said, clapping Ravi on the back, “I’m going back to my admirers. Bye!”

Ravi watched as Minsook bounced back to a group of people, grinning and happy. He then turned his attention to the rest of the room and started to walk, intent on finding Taekwoon. About three minutes into his search, he ran into Kiseop.

“Hey Ravi,” Kiseop said, “Great to see you again. You had anything to drink yet?” Ravi shook his head no. “Well, we are going to change that. Come with me.” He grabbed Ravi’s arm and started dragging him towards the bar.

“Hyung, you really don’t have to. I don’t drink much and-”

“Nonsense,” Kiseop said, cutting Ravi off, “Let me buy you a drink. We’re celebrating!”

Ravi couldn’t refuse that, so the next half an hour was spent talking and drinking with Kiseop and some other crew members. They all kept plying him with drinks that Ravi couldn’t refuse, so by the time he excused himself to go the bathroom, he felt a little more than tipsy.

He pushed open the door and walked over to the urinal before opening his pants to relieve himself. He heard the person several urinals down doing the same, and in his drunk state, curiosity got the best of him and he looked over.

“Taekwoon?” Ravi couldn’t stop himself from calling out when he saw the face of the other man. Taekwoon looked over at him, blinked, then immediately flushed even more than he already was.

“Ravi? What are you doing here?” he asked, the sound of trickling slowly dying away. Ravi felt his stream slow down too, and when he finished, he tucked himself back into his pants before zipping up, and walking over to Taekwoon. It seemed like a good idea in his drunk brain to stand next to the other man while he tucked himself away too.

“I’m celebrating,” Ravi said, throwing his hands up in the air. “It’s a party!”

Taekwoon smiled at him before making his way to the sinks, Ravi trailing after him. They both started to wash their hands, and their eyes met in the mirror. They grinned. Ravi noticed Taekwoon’s pink cheeks, flushed with alcohol, and laughed a little to himself when he noticed his own pink cheeks and messy hair.

“How are you, hyung?” Ravi asked, shaking his hands out to dry them as he stepped closer to his friend.

Taekwoon chewed on his lip for a few seconds before answering. “Fine,” he said. Ravi stared at his lips and noticed how they were red from where Taekwoon bit them a few moments earlier.

Ravi gathered his nerve, made slightly easier by the fact that he was drunk. “You know, hyung, the show is done.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly and looked into Ravi’s eyes. “And?” he asked, a small smile gracing his lips.

“And you told me, like a month ago, that you would consider dating me after the show ends.”

Taekwoon took a step closer. “Did I?” he asked, “I can’t remember.” The small smile didn’t leave his lips.

Ravi pointed at him, a pout forming on his lips. “You’re lying.”

“Yeah,” Taekwoon said, “I’m lying.” He took another step forward until the two of them were standing toe to toe. Taekwoon had to look up slightly to stare into Ravi’s eyes, but his hand gripped Ravi’s hip, a thumb digging into his bone. Ravi lowered his head slightly until their lips brushed together.

It wasn’t a great kiss. They were both a little sloppy, and when Taekwoon started to push his tongue past Ravi’s lips, Ravi pulled back at the taste of alcohol. Taekwoon glanced at him questioningly.

“Sorry, hyung. It’s just… you’re drunk. You should think about this before we do anything.”

Taekwoon frowned. “Ravi-ya, I’ve thought about this for a while. This isn’t happening just because I’m drunk. I’ve wanted to kiss you for over a month.” Ravi opened his mouth to speak, but Taekwoon gave a sharp shake of his head. “Thanks for the concern, I actually do appreciate it, but I want this,” he gestured in the space between them. “I want you.”

Ravi inhaled sharply, joy shooting through his heart. He raised an eyebrow, as if asking it he’s saying this for real, and Taekwoon raised one back. Laughing, Ravi leaned in again, happy to know his affection was returned.

“Good, because I want you too.”

They started kissing again, and their tongues pushed against each other. Taekwoon inhaled through his nose to get some air, then started laughing, breaking off the kiss. Ravi took a step back from the other man. “What?” he asked him, hand still gripping Taekwoon’s waist.

“Sorry,” Taekwoon said. “It’s just, I find this so ironic, don’t you?”

Ravi had no idea what Taekwoon was hinting at, and shrugged his shoulders. This only made Taekwoon snort, and he covered his face with his hands.

“Hyung,” Ravi whined slightly, “What is it?”

“We talked for the first time in a bathroom, and now…” he trailed off, gesturing between them. Ravi got it then and started chuckling too.

They didn’t kiss again that night, aware that not many people would appreciate that in the bar, but they found an empty table and sat next to each other for the rest of the night, holding hands secretly as they chatted about anything they could think of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last full-length chapter. Keep an eye out for a cute, but short, epilogue coming in the next few days. It takes place 1.5 months later. 
> 
> As always, you can find me at leothevixxn on tumblr, or my writing blog tuberc-leo-fics. Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	5. Epilogue

1.5 months later

Ravi lounged on Taekwoon’s bed, legs stretched out as he watched his boyfriend play with Minyool on the floor of his bedroom. It was nice to just relax and watch Taekwoon with his nephew, especially because Vixx had just made a comeback, and his free time was slowly fading into constant work.

“Wonshik, come play with us,” Taekwoon said as he raised his head from where he was stacking blocks on the carpet. “Minyool wants company.”

Ravi raised an eyebrow, but swung his legs over the side of the bed anyway. “Oh really, hyung?” he asked. “Minyool wants?” He walked over to where Taekwoon sat on the floor and dropped his head down to kiss Taekwoon’s hair. This resulted in him closing his eyes and humming.

Taekwoon patted the only empty space on the carpet, urging Ravi to sit down and join them. Minyool looked up from where he was knocking a block against the floor and gave him a gummy smile and started babbling. Ravi smiled down at him.

“Oh, is that so, Minyool-ie?” he asked. He reached over and grabbed Minyool’s feet before he shook them around and made them dance. Minyool started giggling and waving his arms around. Ravi played with his feet for a minute or so until he was hit in the head with the block in Minyool’s hand.

“Ow, that hurt Minyool-ie,” he said, sitting back and rubbing his head. He pouted for a few seconds and then turned to Taekwoon as he tried to gain some sympathy.

“Your nephew is the devil, hyung,” Ravi complained. But Taekwoon, being the unsupportive boyfriend that he was, just laughed at him.

“Come here, baby,” Taekwoon said. Ravi almost shuffled towards him, but stopped when he saw Taekwoon reach over a few feet and grab Minyool around the middle before pulling him towards his chest.

“Unfair,” Ravi said as he turned his face toward Taekwoon and made an exaggerated pouting face. “You should make me feel better.”

Taekwoon glanced at him and shrugged as he bounced Minyool on his lap. “And what do you want me to do? It wasn’t my fault you got hit by a baby not even a year old.” He smirked at Ravi.

“Kiss it better.”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes. “What do you think, Minyool-ie. Should we make Wonshik feel better?” he asked to the baby as he started shaking him where he was standing on his lap. Minyool made a noise that sounded like a dog barking. Ravi and Taekwoon exchanged confused glances.

“I’m…guessing that’s a yes,” Taekwoon said. He stood up, and swung Minyool into his arms. He took the few steps to meet Ravi, who was smiling up at him. Suddenly, he saw a baby come towards his face and was confused when Taekwoon pushed Minyool’s face into his hair.

Ravi blinked when Minyool was back on Taekwoon’s hip. “What was that?” he asked.

“You said you wanted a kiss,” Taekwoon said innocently. “Minyool hurt you, so he should kiss you too.”

Ravi fake glared at him. “I want a proper kiss now,” he said, pushing his hands out to hit at Taekwoon’s calves. Taekwoon retaliated by kicking at him.

“Stand up,” he said. Ravi quickly climbed to his feet and Taekwoon took a step closer before he pressed his lips to Ravi’s. It was soft and over quickly, but Taekwoon didn’t pull back. “Is that what you wanted?” he asked Ravi, their lips still brushing each other. Ravi nodded.

“Yeah, hyung,” he said before he stole another quick kiss. Afterwards, he dropped his forehead onto Taekwoon’s shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist, careful not to bump Minyool. The stood like that for about ten seconds before they pulled away.

“Oh,” Ravi said suddenly, “I almost forgot. I have a present for you.”

Taekwoon frowned at that. “I don’t like it when you give me gifts.” Ravi shook his head and waved the comment off before moving to his bag in the corner of the room. Taekwoon brought Minyool over to his bed and sat down, making sure Minyool was far enough away from the edge and wouldn’t fall off.

“Here,” Ravi said as he passed a bag over to Taekwoon. Taekwoon glared at him but took the bag anyway, curious as to what Ravi bought him. He was still frowning when he opened the bag and took out Vixx’s newest album.

“Wonshik, you know I like to buy your albums. I would have bought it to support you guys. You didn’t need to give me a copy personally.”

“It’s just something to add to your collection,” Ravi said cheekily as he gestured toward Taekwoon’s bookshelf and his many Vixx albums. Taekwoon kicked out his leg, trying to hit Ravi, but stopped when Ravi spoke, sounding more serious than usual. “Besides, I needed to be here when you received it.”

“Needed? Why?” Taekwoon asked as he flipped the album over to look at the track list written on the back. His breath hitched when he noticed what Ravi was trying to say.

“Wonshik…you really didn’t need to do that. You wrote most of the song and I just-”

“You just helped me fix my mess of a song,” Ravi interrupted. “You deserve to be credited as a co-composer and co-arranger. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but-”

He was stopped from saying anything more when Taekwoon hugged him, burying his face into Ravi’s neck. Ravi dropped a kiss onto his hair and curled his arms around his back, just resting there until Taekwoon pulled back.

“I-thanks,” Taekwoon said, “It’s a nice gift.”

“Do you want to listen?” Ravi asked as he grabbed the album and held it up, shaking it in front of Taekwoon. Taekwoon nodded once and Ravi walked to the desk and put the cd into the old cd player.

When the first notes of the intro came on, Ravi joined Taekwoon on the bed, carefully climbing over his legs so he could sit with his back against the wall. Taekwoon picked up a sleepy Minyool and pressed his left side against Ravi’s right. They sat in silence just listening to the album together. When Minyool fell asleep around the third song, the two of them grinned at each other before they cuddled closer, perfectly content to just enjoy each other’s presence until the last song on the album played.

_Forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter. What did you think? I might consider writing several one shots in this verse a little later if people want. As always, you can find me at leothevixxn or tuberc-leo-fics on tumblr.


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